Why would my ex add me on facebook?

[hyakoo]

I unfriended my ex on facebook 4 months ago. He insisted that we stayed friends and although I didn't want to at first I decided to give friendship a try, but it didn't work out so I deleted him off all social media.

We ran into each other a couple times cause of mutual friends and I generally ignored him. The first time we spoke again, I was with my friends, and he sat with us for a while and even took a snapchat of us. After that whenever we see each other we'd say hi, and even hung out alone several times.

The last time i saw him was a month ago and he was kinda distant and dismissive that day. But then he took another snapchat of me, saying that he'd only send it to his best friend (who's also my friend), but another friend told me later that it was actually on his story.

Then yesterday, he sent me a friend request out of nowhere. It's just so random and odd given that he didn't add me after the few times we hung out. And especially since he was cold and distant the last time I saw him. I'm also not comfortable with how he's putting our "friendship" on social media. I think that's too public especially since we have a lot of mutual friends, and people gossip.

[TheEvilJester]

There could be a million reasons. Could be he's still interested in you. Could be he's not, but he sort of selfishly wants to keep tabs on you. Like, maybe he's hoping you haven't move on yet, especially if he hasn't.

To be honest, I think the real question isn't why did he add you.... I think the real question should be who cares? I think you did the right thing by moving on. It's noble to try to remain friends, but when that didn't work out you did the right thing by just cutting ties. To be honest, I think it is almost never a good idea to remain friends with an ex. There is just little to no reason to do that. That isn't to say you can't remain FRIENDLY.... just not actively friends. For example, if you two just happened to wind up at the same party, it is okay to say hi, to chat a little, to be friendly.... but you shouldn't feel the need to hang out with them like they are a good friend.

So, if you are not okay with the idea of having him on your social media, then you are right to just not accept his friend request. Honestly, again, that would be my personal advice. It's much healthier to just move on. And again, it isn't like I am saying you have to hate him or consider him a mortal enemy... it's just why bother having him as an active part of your life? The past is best left in the past. Focus now on your future. Good luck to you.

[Hooo!]

When we were at school our english teacher asked us to paint a paragraph according to the word groups
nouns should be yellow
verbs be orange
adverbs should be blue
artikels red
and so on.

And one of my fellow kids at school put his hand up and told the teacher that he had a serious problem. He had no yellow pen so he couldnt mark the nouns properly in yellow, but he had a light blue pen instead and he wanted to know if it was ok if he instead marked the nouns in light blue instead of yellow.
Our teacher answered with what should be known later only as B-Mod
she said
"Show Bravery in Making Own Decisions."

[TheEvilJester]

I think that was kind of rude, if you ask me, of your teacher. In that sort of setting, I don't think it is necessarily appropriate to just go ahead and make your own decision. In fact, it could result in a poor grade because the teacher may see the blue and think it to mean the student confused nouns and adverbs. Not only that, but quite honestly some teachers are a-holes so who can trust they wouldn't just score you poorly out of spite because you didn't follow instructions?

....With that said, I may not agree that was appropriate advice in your teacher's situation... but I actually DO agree with you in this case. I most definitely agree with your point in sharing that story. I loved the story, by the way, so thanks for that. Point being, though, I agree and even said as much.

Hyakoo,

Again, what does it really matter why he added you? If you don't want him on your social media, then don't accept his friend request. Frankly, as I said already, I personally tend to feel like exes belong in our past. I don't see any reason to harbor a grudge or to continually hate them.... but I just don't see any reason to have a constant reminder of them around either or to actively interact with them. Hell, if you used to have a friend with whom you eventually had a spat and ceased being friends... you probably wouldn't keep them around in any capacity.... even long after you'd moved on and no longer thought about it. So, why keep an ex in your life, somebody who was arguably closer to you than just a friend and yet still somehow the relationship did not work.

[topazlight]

Either he wants you to see something on his FB or to check out your FB and see what eh can see. I wouldn't accept his request, don't go down that road again with an ex. You did good by removing him off social media so stay that course would be my opinion on this situation.