Jealous boyfriend please I need advice

[LunV93]

I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. Sometimes I do things that upset him and I tend to feel really guilty, I've never wanted to hurt him.

Two weeks ago we went to a party, we were together but at some point I felt really sad (cause my grandma died some weeks ago) and I decided to go outside the party just for some minutes. There was a in the yard, he felt his eyes like burning because some guys threw vodka to his face, so I helped him to wash his eyes, then I talked a little with him and go find my boyfriend. My boyfriend saw me and got really angry and we had a big fight.

Then the last week I went to another party (I really don't party a lot, this was like a big coincidence) the party was in a teacher's house and I told my boygriend I was planning to go. He didn't want me to go, he said the teacher could try to kiss me or something and I would have problems at school (Im 23, I study medicine). We had a fight but then he "understood the situation" and he made me promise to go to the party, to have fun, to call him and tell him when I arrive to the party, to send him a pic of me and my friend there. The next day we had a little fight and I send him some messages but he didn't replied, I told him that MAYBE I was going to the party, but that it will be in a bar (not at the teacher's house). I went to the party, then my boyfriend called me like 50 times and was really angry because I didn't tell him I was going to the party and I didn't send him the pic, and I lied about the place, and I did all wrong. We had a HUGE fight and we broke up (we tend to breake up a lot).

My actual problem is that I want to go to my school's party on friday. This is my last year so I really want to go. My boyfriend told me weeks ago that he didn't want me to go, because we were having too much fights and that he was afraid I could meet someone or do something stupid.
I want to get back with him and a few days ago he told me that I should WANT to stay with him (he doesn't want to go with me either) and that I should think that we are not in a good time to go to parties, he wants me to want to stay.
I want to stay and this really hurts me, I think this is unfair. I just want to go to my last school's party, but on the other hand I obviously think that my boyfriend is more important than a party. I just think he is forbidding me to do things and I feel like in a cage.
This is not the first time he does things like this, he told me not to talked to a friend (this friends likes me and has asked me out but I've never accepted)

I feel guilty about the last parties and I think I should stay with him because I really care for him and I want to be OK with him, but at the same time I don't want him to control me.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I'm letting him control my life.
Please help I feel really guilty and sad.

[Hooo!]

Actually he looks at other women too. He enjoys compliments

Let us for a moment pretend you were miss universe. A total stunner. Ofc other boys are talking to you and hitting on you.
You however chose to go home and be with him

Jealousy is a behaviour that shows he thinks he doesn't deserve you and or is immature
You choose him. That should be enough.
If he doesn't want to trust it's his problem

[TheEvilJester]

He is being too controlling. Now, I won't rush to judgment because there could be a million reasons he is like this. Maybe he's been cheated on, abused, misused a lot in the past and it has made him paranoid that it is just his lot in life. So, without knowing more I won't rush to judgment and vilify him.

....BUT, none of that makes what he is doing okay. Yes, you are definitely right that your boyfriend should be more important than a party.... but there is no reason you shouldn't be able to go to this party without it upsetting your boyfriend. If you've proven unworthy of his trust, that would be different. I don't get that impression, though. So, he needs to trust you in situations where there should be no reason not to trust you.

Otherwise, this kind of jealousy will eventually ruin the relationship. You will eventually hit some breaking point where you can't accept it anymore, or he'll drive himself SO crazy over all these imagined issues that he'll leave you thinking it is best for him. He needs to get a handle on these issues he has. For his own sake as much as yours. All you can really do is talk to him. Calm and fair, yet firm. You shouldn't come at him in an upset manner or directly accuse him of wrongdoing. Even though he may very well be in the wrong here, you still don't approach it like that or he may just shut down. At the same time, you can lovingly and carefully explain to him what he is doing and how it effects you. You can offer to be there for him if he is willing to work on improving things. You can point out how you understand he doesn't mean to do this, but he's getting himself so worked up over things he needn't worry about to the point that he can't seem to let himself enjoy a good thing when he has it.

Good luck to you.