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Thread: It - us

  1. #1
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    It - us

    Hi,
    I'm writing here becouse I think is the only way I can get some honest opinions.

    I'm Italian and I'm sorry if my English won't be perfect but I'll try to be clear and sintetic:

    I met this girl in Italy 2 years ago while she was studying abroad, we falled in love, was amazing, and after 4 months spent togheter , when she left for US we decided to see each other again in NY for couple weeks after 3 months of not seeing each other.

    We started this long distance relationship and decidet to spend the summer togheter so she come here in Italy again. Was amazing.

    Then she left again and we stayed 4 months not seeing each other. Was painful and she changed all the time she was away. I went in NY and spent 2 months at Christmas.

    Anyway, now after the last time we saw each other in the spring we decided to broke up. Long distance ruined my life and her life and we couldn't keep going like we were. I couldn't find an internship in NY for September, after my graduation, becouse is so hard for the visa and so expensive. We ended it. I drow her to the airport and while we were kissing a promising to see each other again, she left. Was the list time I saw her.

    We talked for a few days after but then we got far. After 1 month of NC she graduated and I texted her for congratulation, very easy not heavy. I always gave her all the space. I'm still so much in love. We talked on skype for 3 hours and was amazing. We shared so much and we called each other love. She wished to close the eyes and be here with me. We ended the conversation with her saying let's talk soon.i was ok with that. I told her I wanted to see her again.

    She texed me the day after telling me that she had a great time talking.

    I responded with "me too, I missed you". After 2,3 texts of different topics, some days after she texed me that she missed me.

    I responded and asked if she was free that night. Then she says she was working. I Tryed to call her but she didn't respond so I went to sleep. She texted me saying sorry she couldn't talk that night. Then she blocked me on texts.

    That was the last time I heard from her. She is posting a lot on social media of her smiling and happy and I'm happy for her but I am struggeling becouse I don't understand. I need to love on. I don't know what's going on, I don't think I deserve this.

    How do I move on? Why she is acting like that? Is she using me to feel better?

    She is incredible, I truly love this person but I'm angry right now.

    Plz, advices.

  2. #2
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    If I understand correctly, it sounds as if you both agreed to end the relationship due to the long distance, but stayed in contact with each other. I don't blame you for feeling angry. She was sending you mixed signals. Break-ups are confusing even when both parties are clear in their intent.

    She should have been more clear in stating that she wanted no contact with you during your last conversation on Skype. It appears she took the path of least resistance instead of being direct and honest. I understand how devastating it is when you feel blindsided by someone that you trusted and loved.

    I experienced much the same several months ago. I was left in limbo not knowing exactly what was happening for 10 days. I will tell you what I did that helped me. It goes against the conventional wisdom of 'No Contact'. I wrote to him an email expressing my pain, regret and sadness over how he had decided to leave. You can either do the same if you have an email contact to her or simply writing such a letter and not sending it will be cathartic for you. I may help you heal just by expressing the betrayal that you feel.

    I would encourage you to block her on all social media. I understand how difficult that is. I still haven't been able to erase his phone/text messages. But to feel that obsessive drive to check to see what she is doing is hurtful and will delay the process of you reclaiming your life again.

    What has helped me:
    - Talking to someone that you trust and you know cares about you. Vent your frustration and hurt. Allow them to support you during this time.
    - Website(s) 'ExNoContact' and 'Breakup Recovery Guide'.
    - Writing a journal. Simply expressing what you're feeling has been a great help to me.

    Understand that time is a great healer in and of itself. You will recover your balance again. Try and focus on you right now. Do those things that make you happy. Try and stay busy. There will be good days and bad days. There will be set backs but be forgiving of yourself.

    You deserve a complete, whole indestructible love.

  3. #3
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    Thank you so much. I really feel better after your advices. I will love to write her a letter. If you will help me will be great. I just can't believe that she has disappears... how could she move on if our last conversation on skype was amazing... I think on the other side she should just be left alone by me. I think she got scared...
    I am confused, mamma mia...

  4. #4
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    What do you want?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

  5. #5
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    I would her back. I want to see her again. I would to talk to her. She still didn't gave me any signal since the last text that she couldn't talk that night (10 days ago). I am doing bad.

  6. #6
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    What exactly are you doing right now so you both can be in a fulfilling relationship together?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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