Just a post..

[losthope]

Guys, firstly im sorry for my english..

Just I want to share a story, not necessary searching for answers because if I wont then my heart would be painful so much..

I was a decent girl until the day I caught a sickness. After that I always have a smell around me.. I did not lack of hygiene or anything.. but just I simply smell like shet all the time and I dont know why. I ran to doctors, did lot of things, it s still there and it destroy my life gradually in the last 6 years.

Then I met my first bf on a game, we had sex. he s nearly mad (cut his hands, hit his head, and had a strange relationship with his own sister..) We broke after sometimes. Our last time doing sex he filmed it back to blackmail me.

My friends helped me overcome that feelings after months.. half year passed. and I met this person. He is from Philip and I am from Vietnam. A lot of things happened such as a fairy tale that I could not believe it. He is caring, sweet and dedicated. He is patience in most of the things and always make my heart beat so fast. He also accept who I am and introduce me to his family.

Gradually I really love him... and we decided to meet in December, wedding etc. We had sex, time too long, and yes, we are like sexual attracted a lot. I love him, except when he asked to see my body (all parts) and also some sex picture send to him with my face on it.

My parents like him and vice versa, his sisters like me. (His mother died when he was born, his father moved on after that, never look back)

But then he visited his father and spent all of his money on a TV and DVD for his father. He is out of money and need another 1.5k peso for his father surgery. - He said.

and he tried work but cant cover it. then asked for my money. I could not send him since I dont have a lot and sending oversea is not easy at all.

He said some words then we on arguments from those days.

He worked and does not have time for me... then I caught him chatting this girl.. vid call her (missed, she did not pick up) and sent her 2 pictures of him without t-shirt, said "hi, I want to be your fren" . Then early in the morning around 6 am, another gud morning to another girl.

We had more arguments in which he said just wanted to be frens and I stated that I would block her. I ended up only block the girl he said gd morning... he promised will never repeat.

so we made up, and I got a meeting with my fren - a girl who about to leave our country soon. He got angry after that.. I got home late, bought him some gifts, said sorry and changed his pf on fb to better picture (he used my picture so I think its ok to do so).

In the morning he waited me up, said he need money urgent, I refused with same reasons and he suddenly said hey, I dont want you use my fb anymore, I wont use yours... you are free now... then come to threaten "If you ever log in I would post your naked pictures."


and that is where my feelings cant be normal again... i felt hurt. really hurt. Because I do love him and serious about the relationship.

Even though he sorry after that I seriously could not overcome that sentences at all.

He said cause I called him scammer (I did, after what he did) which made he being angry. and all my frens said, "hey he was just using you"

Guys, I blocked him after telling him I was really hurtted.

ty, love you all and sorry for the story.

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[losthope]

What do you want?

Hmmp, I dont really understand you.. I guess you about to say something you think would hurt me. Yes, I dont want hear if you feel so. I got a lot of advice from friends and family alr... and I ve known loving online is seriously unsecured. But he - my 2nd love is really special, that is why. also me, i could not find love irl mainly due to the sickness. (took most of my confident..) well, some flirted me due to some reasons, but I dont have feelings for them really..

[Hooo!]

So if you don't have feelings what do you want to have and what do you want to do?

[losthope]

So if you don't have feelings what do you want to have and what do you want to do?

I actually want him as my husband before. now im totally lost...

[Hooo!]

so you want HIM as your husband or your image of him as a nice person as your husband?
im just checking.