First Love Advice

[liasse]

Hi everyone! I'm currently lost in my feelings right now, and I would really need some good advice from you guys.

There was this guy I used to like in the past (4 years ago) and we were really close friends back then. We called each other frequently, and constantly talked for about a year or so. We had a lot of firsts together; including being each other's prom date, our first date, and basically our first ~real~ love experience was with each other. First love, as you would name it. High school sweethearts.

But, we never had a real relationship. All along, he knew that it was one-sided and that I never loved him back - and it crushed him. Truth is, I did. But I was too scared to be committed in any relationship or whatsoever that he was planning for us. I think the problem with me was that I played too hard-to-get that I never told him about my feelings, up until now.

Two years ago, we had a major talk regarding how he felt for me. He told me that I left a space in his heart that no one else can fill and he just couldn't let me go. I told him I just wasn't ready for any relationship. He told me that he'll wait for me no matter how long. I believed him. I sincerely hoped that when the right time came, we would be led back to each other again.

After that talk, we rarely spoke with each other. He chats me every now and then, probably three to five times in a year, just to catch up with me. But we never talk like we used to do.

Recently, he told my friends that I've changed compared to when he first met me, but he still sees me as the "ideal girl" for any kind of guy. I don't really know what that means but I just accepted that.

Now, he has found a new girl (or love interest) from his university and they're seeing each other currently. There is no relationship between them yet, but I think it's developing into that. I don't know why, but it's really causing me pain when I thought all along that I didn't like him THAT much. They say that you would never forget your first love; and I think that is so true for me. It hurts me knowing that everything he has done for me, he would suddenly do for another girl. I can't help but think that this is my fault for letting him go. In a way, it's like the tables have turned; he used to be head over heels in love with me, but now it's me who's in love with him.


Should I move on or should I keep hoping? And how can I move on from this pain?

Thank you so much, guys.

[Zer0z27]

After a broken heart its totally the best idea just to move on, I understand how he was your first love and all, but my first love broke my heart, after a long time you will probably forget them, avoid seeing him at all, and just find someone else, I know this helped me, at least your first love didn't cheat on you good luck in your love life

[WillowFlower]

It sounds like you, as you said, played hard to get for too long and he has decided to move on. If he and the girl break up, maybe re-explore the connection, but he probably will be very cautious as he won't want to get hurt again.

[Hooo!]

You made a decision. Deal with your decisions.

If you want him then fight for him

[GLYC]

He did as every real man has to, when his feelings aren't reciprocated, he moves on.
I always give this advice to men, to walk away when that happens. It's really powerful.

Some women won't care when you leave but others?
Now that you see that this man does have choices, you realize how much more of a catch he really is.

It sounds like back then he probably did some things to turn you off. I.e. the relationship talk/saying he would wait for you.
Ironically, if he really waited for you, you would never come as you would think he is always available.

My advice.
Next time he's available, make a move on him.

Until then, you move on. Assume it's over forever.