What is going on with this guy ?

[amkxoxo]

Dating this guy. He told me he really liked me multiple times, told me he was starting to care for me, constantly kissing me and wanting to be all cuddly with me, how his mother would love me, and how he wasn't seeing anyone else. He seemed to be wanting to see me a lot, and talking about future plans with me. Said he was a relationship type of guy and liked monogamy and wanted that, said he never hooks up and wouldn't, and even suggested we wait to get intimate until we are in a relationship. Said he didn't want to rush into being serious too fast, as it might take him some time emotionally to open up if I could be a bit patient with him, as he was still a little emotionally fragile from his last relationship. He kept saying how happy he was that he and I were on the same page and how he still really liked me. I respected that and we continued to see each other, and things seemed to just be progressing easily. We dated for over a month, total of 6 dates and a lot of talking on the phone in between.

Saw him three times, he wanted four, the week before he was moving into a new apartment. But now he has been distant ever since he moved to the new place. Keeps claiming he is so busy. Always answers my text messages nicely and says he is sorry, but makes no plans to see each other. Will occasionally text asking what my upcoming plans are for the week or weekend, but then never really follows up with me when I answer. I gave him some space to settle in and move, but after a week, of barely hearing from him and not seeing him I started getting a bit concerned. Every time I ask about seeing him he says he wants to go eat with me at this nice restaurant, but says maybe next week, or maybe this night, or maybe when the weather is better since this restaurant is outside, but he never sets the plan. I haven't seen him in three weeks and have barely had any communication from him, besides the "I'm crazy busy." The most recent time I texted him asking how he and his dog are in their new place? He didn't even acknowledge my question and just told me he has been crazy and has barely been answering any text messages from anyone. I was sick of hearing excuses so I just said "Its all good. Have a good weekend" Now I have not heard from him since. Its been 6 days, 3 weeks of not seeing him in person.

I'm truly baffled by this. He seemed interested. I didn't ask for more or too much from him. I analyzed everything and don't see anything I did wrong. I don't know if he just isn't prioritizing dating into his busy life, or if he isn't interested in me, which just baffles me as he seemed really into me right before this move. Maybe he got scared of being in a relationship again, and he isn't ready. He was with his ex for 12 years, only girl he has ever been with, and they were engaged and living together, but things went south and they have been separated for 6 months now. He told me on our first date he was ready to move on and it was all in his past. I'm just so confused. We had chemistry. He was calling me and making plans and begging me to come over to see him before the move, and now nothing. Makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean we met online on a good dating site (not Tinder) and he was looking for a "smart, motivated, and funny girl." I'm so confused.

[stardust27]

This has also happened to me with a guy i met once. He was all nice at the beggining and telling me nice things but it all began to change when he moved. He would make up excuses and telling me that he was too busy but all this time he was seeing someone else. I found out when i saw his new relationship status on facebook but still he was texting me when he was with her. I got mad and sended him a bad message text. I told him he was a jerk and to never text me back ever again.

I am not saying that this is your situation but if i were you i would call this quits! since i would feel lonely after 3 weeks of having these responses. I think you deserve a better man who will be there for you my dear

[TheEvilJester]

Sometimes life gets busy. I think we can all understand that. So.... for just a second here, let's pretend he actually is being 100% sincere and he is just THAT busy..... Well, then that's rather swell and all... but maybe then he's too busy for a relationship. Even if he is being 100% honest, you'd not be wrong if that just wasn't enough for you.

....BUT... to be honest with you, I myself find it hard to believe that he is so into you.... yet suddenly can't see you for nearly a month. So, though we certainly can't know if something like this is going on, I myself would be much more inclined to believe it probably IS something like stardust's example. Or, if not that, it could even just be that he is not as into you as he once was (or once pretended he was) and just isn't man enough to be honest with you.

Frankly, I think my personal advice doesn't change either way. My personal advice would be to consider it over in your own mind at this point. That can mean you just stop bothering to even reach out to him. (I normally wouldn't suggest that, but he's essentially already done that to you, so why bother if you are the only one trying?) Ideally, though, I think better to just talk to him one last time. Preferably face to face, or at the very least over the phone. But, just to say something like "Look, maybe you are really this busy or maybe you just think this is a nice way to let me down easily. Either way, I am just looking for somebody who has the time to spend with me. Otherwise, it is hard to build any kind of relationship. So, I think right now it is best we just go our separate ways. Maybe if things change down the road you can look me up then, but otherwise best of luck to you."

If you do go that route, obviously put that in your own words. I don't really human very well. But, my point being whether he actually wants to be with you and truly just is that crazy busy or he no longer wants to be with you but thinks he's letting you down easily, it doesn't really change that it isn't right to you. You deserve somebody who has enough time to actually spend with you. Not somebody who leaves you sitting around forever wondering if you should just be patient or if they'll just keep giving you excuses and leave you in limbo forever.

Good luck to you.

[Hooo!]

Some boys will do ridiculous things to get into your pants including telling you what you want to hear

Talk to him honestly and openly and also be realistic.