I want to approach her but not be a stalker

[bassoprofundo]

I have found a warm, wonderful, smart woman who appears to be unattached. I would like to let her know of my interest. I think I will send her some heart-warming words in an e-mail. The trouble is I only have her work e-mail. It would be more appropriate to have a personal e-mail, but if I find one of those, I'll feel like a stalker.

Here's the thing: I want to let her know I'm interested and see what she says, but I don't want to act like a stalker or be perceived as a stalker. I might mention I'll go away if that's what she wants.

What do I do? How can I find the right words?

[hazey daisy]

You work with her? How about just asking her out on a date, like getting coffee sometime or go for lunch. That is how she will know you are interested in her romantically. You don't have to make this complicated...just ask her out i person. Having man ballz is more attractive than sending some gushy email.

[bassoprofundo]

Thanks for your reply, hazey.

No, we don't work together, which means there's going to have to be either an e-mail or a phone call that might turn awkward. It would be pretty easy if we worked together, in which I could casually ask her to join me for lunch, as you suggest.

So I'm going to have to call or e-mail cold and see if she remembers who I am before I make my pitch. That's why I'm concerned about the words being effective and with me not coming across as a stalker.

[Hooo!]

Just send her an email keep it short and simple
I would additionally say that:" I would have liked to contact you in another way instead. So if this bothers you, please feel free to ignore it"

[GLYC]

Building off Hoo's post, I suggest doing something similar, keep it short and simple.
I did this with an old college classmate I had only spoken to a few times (at the time she had a boyfriend before, so I felt no need to press for more).
I messaged her on Facebook, said that I had read about her in some report at work (was interning at some job, and she was an intern in another department there), anyways, I then said that it got me thinking that I really regretted not having the chance to get to know her back then, then I asked for the number. (Just be direct, straight to the point, and confident)

I got her number. She responded well to the message and knew who I was right away. I then called her to ask her out.

Obviously, Ideally you don't want to use email to ask a woman out, since it's weak, but if it's literally your only option, then I guess shoot it.

I think some of this depends how you got the information, is it her work number, or her work email? Did she voluntarily give it to you, how did you get it, etc.

I wouldnt say the "i will go away if thats what you want" thing, I would just assume it's going to work out for now, but if she doesn't reply back, no biggie. Don't contact her again. Ever. Unless she starts contacting you.

[lovemenot]

It would be of course much stronger statement to ask her out directly if you at least sometimes see her somewhere or communicate somehow..

But if email is your only option, don't hesitate and do it.

It can be a very pleasant surprise for a woman to get an unexpected email even to her work inbox asking her out. Just be short and confident (DEFINITELY NO "i will go away if thats what you want" thing, like [MENTION=85795]GLYC[/MENTION] said it shows weakness and low self esteem and that's not at all attractive).

And add that you would like to have a different more personal mean to communicate.
Even if you got her email somehow stalking, don't worry about that. it can show her that you already went through some trouble to be able to communicate and make her feel valued Good luck!