Falling out of love??

[Countrygirl1985]

I have been married for 11 years and feel like we were fine up until recently. We get irritated with each other quickly and it starts fights. He is controlling with money and yells at me if i spend it. We have 4 kids together and I'm scared of messing up their emotions.

There is another part to this problem....I work with a guy that I am close friends with. He told me recently that he's been trying to hint to have sex with me for the last 2 weeks. We almost did but I stopped it due to him also having a girlfriend. I asked him if he's willing to mess up a marriage and a relationship. He said yes. He wanted to have sex once and forget it ever happened.....which I can't do. We work with his gf too and he is nervous she will find out. I'm attracted to him but I dont want to be friends with Benefits. I know we will have sex more than once.

I dont want to cheat but I'm not so sure I'm in love anymore.

[GLYC]

Never cheat. Unless you're a person that doesn't value loyalty. Likewise, the guy at work, the best you two can ever be will be friends with benefits.
Because you already know hes down to cheat. And if he's willing to do it to her, he's willing to do it to you.

Also, i dont think people should stay in a marriage for kids.
Kids need to see what a loving relationship looks like and to be able to use it as a role model for their own lives.
And yes, arguing creates emotional distance. I never argue with women, I will express myself but in a respectful way. Even when I'm being mistreated and need to stand up for myself, I can do that without yelling. If I can do it, he can do it.

He needs to communicate like an adult or else he will lose you. Talk to him about communicating.

[johnperes]

When thing are going to get messed up and you don't want to mess them, at that point you should take help either from relationship experts or from some elder family member. But my advice to you is to visit the best relationship advisor who can solve this out at once by giving you practical solutions to all relationship issues.

[Shoukon]

I agree with the two above post. There's communication issues and finding a mediator, marriage counselor, psychotherapist, trusted friend, or someone who can help you two progressively speak constructively to each other about what is happening between you two is the right way to go. Even finding your own therapist or professional would be helpful because it is sometimes difficult to work on a relationship when you yourself feel destabilized.

This isn't falling out of love. Love is an action you two take for the two of you as parts of this relationship. Feelings of desire, want, intimacy, lust and the such are related, but not love, as unpopular that is to say.