Confused about this one

[DAcrazy79]

Ok so a little bit about me first. I am going on 37 years old, been married once for 10 years, been in 3 other long term relationships and have had several short term flings or hookups and all my life I've always felt like I've just settled. I never really felt a true connection with anyone and my relationships have always died out as a result. I even was under the impression that there was no such thing as "the one" or at least being able to recognize him when I found him.

Now I have recently been talking to this guy I met on Facebook. We talked casually back and forth for about a week before we decided to meet up. He was over at some friends house drinking and invited me over. I'm normally a very outgoing and fun person to be with and I have this blunt sense of humor but when I first meet a guy I'm so shy and nervous. After a little while of hanging out with him and his friends and drinking and having a good time, I figure out this guy is just like me!!! After that I felt like for the first time ever I could be my goofy joking self around a guy. We ultimately ended up getting drunk and sleeping together that night.

Well after that night we chatted back and forth casually on Facebook messenger and played and joked and flirting around, things I'm normally not even comfortable enough to do in a text. We made plans after about another week of talking to meet up again. He is from my hometown but currently lives an hour and a half from me. The morning of the day he tells me we are going out, he suddenly has an excuse. He tells me his daughter was sick and he had to pick her up from school that day. I was disappointed but thought well it is very plausible. He tells me next weekend, then next weekend rolls around and at the last day he says he anticipated on his daughter spending the night with a friend, which got canceled and he couldn't come see me. At this point I am thinking ok he's standing me up, so I stop texting him.

A couple days of not texting him, he texts me back and still wants to come see me and saying he sincerely apologizes for not being able to by now. We start talking again even more so than before. Now we are texting back and forth hours every day and the connection between us keeps growing. He just gets me and I get him as well. We are in the same place in our lives and both have kids around the same age and are single parents. He is attractive, funny and loves to have fun and enjoys the same things I do. He seems like everything I want in a man.

Now here's the weird part. I feel like I'm becoming obsessed with this man. We exchange pics back and forth and get pretty intense and sexual with our conversations now. He tells me he's crushing on me bad and we even been talking about the possibility of it turning into a relationship. The thing is, I don't know if he's leading me on or not. We have plans to hook up this weekend and have been talking about all the things we are gonna do and he seems very excited about it. Now I'm so hooked on him and if he stands me up again I feel like it's gonna devastate me. Am I being ridiculous for feeling this way about this guy so soon? Could be really be the one? Should I keep chasing him? I have so many questions.
​​​​​

[Hooo!]

First of all: there is no "the one"
There is people who you can build a wonderful relationship with to be the one for each other, but to assume you can only love once would be sad.

Also: what exactly do you want?

[DAcrazy79]

I would really like a relationship. He did come see me yesterday and it went really well. This time we spent the whole day together, no drinking. I really think there is some chemistry there. I've just been let down so many times I'm afraid to trust it. How do I know that he's not just telling me everything I want to hear? How do I know he's just not after sex? It did happen but we had planned it in advance and we did more than just have sex together. Conversation went really well and we seem to really get each other.

[Hooo!]

These are good questions. What do you think? How can you know he is honest and doesn't only tell you what you want to hear? How can you find out that he is not just after sex?

[Snow White]

So, do you no longer feel that this sexual behavior is part of your sex addiction? This thread doesn't seem to jive with your "damaged goods" thread.

[DAcrazy79]

I do in some way but for some reason I got emotionally attached to this guy. He seemed to just get me and except me for who I was, or so I thought. I think part of it is because I just wanna be loved so bad. I just want someone who makes me feel comfortable being myself, and another part of me is also sexually obsessed with him. I guess my judgement of him was not what I thought either tho. After a long day of sex he abandoned me like everyone else.