I'm Obsessed

[Keeta]

Hello all

I'm 29 and My issue is that I'm obsessed with a woman that's my neighbor, (whom I've barley even talked to) for quite a while, I am an introverted man and have no friends due to extreme confidence issues ( I have psoriasis which has afflicted my face and years of people laughing at it have taken its toll and been getting more and more depressed about it as the years going by) I have been in this mindset for awhile but.....haven't noticed myself....um....being there....if that makes sense I only noticed it until recently when I decided to try get some exercise (heh could barley do a push up) I went out for a walk and saw her with her new boyfriend and I felt the wrench in my gut. Ever since then, it's constantly on my mind, that's when I noticed what's been happening to me how I've been wrapped in my own delusions, I've tried looking up methods to help but they all say go meet other women...but I can't do that with the appearance of a troll... I try to say enough is enough and it works for a little while then I just slip back in. Is there anything I can do to get out of this cycle of obsession, I'm sorry for the poor grammar or if this isn't the place to say all this....I just needed to get it all out...thank you if you can help I just want these horrible feelings to go away.

[pcmaster]

I think you need to sort your other problems out and then this problem will disappear. Start with your health. Aim for healthy body and mind.
Also number one reason why its so hard to move on is because of your social health. Friends do help a lot when things with girls goes bad.

[lovemenot]

I totally agree with pcmaster. And I am a big believer that you can fix yourself from outside - in. I mean you can just focus on working out - like really make it your goal to get really fit and add a healthy diet to it - these two really go a long way in helping with your inner problems as well as outer. As the Romans used to say '"a healthy mind in a healthy body" or something like that.
And from my own experience I can say these things really worked wonders for me. And having a great body also gives you more confidence and can get you more attention from women.
And in the meantime you can join a gym or some biking club or a boxing class or whatever you prefer where you could meet new people maybe make some new friends.

[TheEvilJester]

Agreed with the others. You needn't let something like your psoriasis define you. For one thing, there are medical treatments that can help with that. Maybe you've tried and they don't work for you, I don't know. But, that does NOT mean you are ugly, and some day somebody will see that as well. So, focus on whatever you can do for yourself that makes you see and feel that you are not ugly. As others have said, working out can certainly help. It can give you confidence you maybe didn't even think you could have. It can also help to make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

Above all else, though, I definitely agree that you owe it to yourself to work on being happier by yourself first. Otherwise, in a state of mind like this, you just run too big of a risk of finding the wrong person. You become too desperate for love that you are willing, whether you realize it or not, to accept it in somebody who does not truly appreciate you. Somebody who uses and/or abuses you. It will only result in you feeling even worse. Right now, your neighbor apparently has a boyfriend already. So, you would be best to move on from that idea in whatever way you can. Believe me, I know that may not be easy at first, but you don't deserve to be trapped obsessing about somebody who isn't available. You'll only hinder your chances of finding somebody who is.

If she ever became single again, that would maybe be a different story.... but you can't just wait around hoping that will happen. Believe me, I understand a lot of how you feel here. I too have always felt I was ugly, I too have always been misunderstood, mistreated, treated as an outcast. It resulted in me having such a low self-esteem that I am not sure I even had one at all. But, I can tell you that hope is never completely lost. I don't know that I'll ever say I LOVE myself.... but these days I do LIKE myself. For me, that is saying a lot.

You can get there too. Believe me, I know how impossible that can seem, but you CAN. And some day you will find a gal who sees your inner-beauty... but also finds the outside just as beautiful whether or not your psoriasis persists. Don't deprive yourself that chance at happiness.... and don't deprive that girl you may eventually find of you. Good luck, friend.