Am I cheating ? Have a close, sexual online relationship

[Terry94]

Hey so I know this may seem pretty simple to most people but I was wondering am I in the wrong ? I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend we live together and been together for just under a year but I've just started a online relationship with this female from USA, she is like a caring lady to me we are kind of like friend who care but naughty we cyber sex and have naughty chats. I chat to her while I'm with my girlfriend. But I don't think I'm doing anything wrong

[greenemerald]

Terry94,
I can consider myself qualified to answer this question only because I am on this forum due a recent breakup with my bf. I found his profile on a dating site, and yes, I consider that cheating.

Your definition of cheating may be different from your girlfriend's definition, however, the fact that you are probably hiding this from her tells me that part of you think this is wrong. If there was nothing wrong with it (as you said), this should be something you can openly do around her. If you ask her the definition of cheating, she will highly likely consider this as such.

Just because you did not do the act does not qualify you as innocent. Let's flip the script: If your gf is secretly yearning for another man's attention by talking naughty things to him and having cyber sex, telling him all the things he could do to her, would you be happy if you found out? If not, why not? And if you don't mind, then it makes everything okay. The only problem here is that your gf does not think this is okay, therefore, this is not an acceptable behavior.

It is always fun and exciting, until someone gets hurt, and the other paying the price.

Let me give you another example by using someone close to you. Oftentimes, we don't see how our actions can be wrong due to the justifications we make.

If your best buddy or brother caught his gf cybersexing and explicitly talking sex talks to another man online, would you tell your hurt brother or hurt buddy that he is wrong for having this reaction? And that her gf did not do anything wrong at all? I have a feeling that you will take your brother's or buddy's side instead of the gf's.

I consider your actions cheating (based on my definition of cheating). It is important that you also consider your gf's definition of cheating and not just your own.

And if both your definitions match, then you are right. You are not doing anything wrong at all.

But if your definitions do not match, then sadly, that makes you a cheater.

On a side note, I am, at least, glad that you are here seeking opinions. This tells me that you are a decent man....a decent man doing something that is potentially very damaging. If you had an evil heart, you would not take the time to post this, let alone, solicit opinions.

Just be careful with your actions. Really think hard if it is worth losing your gf over. Because if she finds out, you might not be worth giving another chance.

[pcmaster]

Just the chatting makes it emotional cheating already.

[Snow White]

I agree with greenemerald completely. If you were completely ok with your behavior, you wouldn't be asking us about it.

[Hooo!]

If you agree to be exclusive there's no harm in flirting with others once in a while.
However in your case it's only cyber sex because you are so far away from each other
So yes im with the others too