Unfriended / blocked

[MortensOrchid]

Hello, I am a first time poster on this forum. I am having trouble with this rather odd thing that happened to me last week.

I have a friend who I will call Jane, she and I met at some point but it is primarily an online relationship. We both work/worked for the same subbing operations as multi-district substitute teachers, we would have gripe sessions about the things we encountered as subs. One day last week, out of the blue, she asked me if I wanted to meet her friend who I will call Frank. We had NEVER talked about dating, love, men, etc. in the past (she's married btw), never once had I lamented about things in that department to her. Her friend Frank asked her if she knew any single women because he was looking to go to a concert next month with someone, and she pointed him my way. We friended each other on Facebook, got to chatting a bit, and then met last Saturday night for dinner. He was nice, I was feeling very positive about it until the last 5 minutes. I have many rules and regulations for these things, comes from many years of experiences good and bad. In the First 5 if there is any hostility or strange behaviors, this will not be a good encounter. The Last 5, however, is the most important - watch the behaviors. If he does not walk you all the way to your car, he is not interested in you. If he does and he ends it well then there is some potential. And he ended it badly with a good-bye, not a handshake or a hug, he just said good night. This was bad, he was telling me by this that he is socially awkward and does not have the best basic people skills. And sure enough, he sent a text about two hours later saying he had a good time, which is also a bad sign. You may be thinking "Huh? Why is that bad?" but I it is. Texting is a passive way of communication not a direct one. I knew how this would end up - I replied that I also had a good time, thanks. The next day we continued texting about chit chatty things, then it tapered off. On Tuesday I sent him a text saying good morning, nothing. Once it got to be Thursday, I gave up because he broke the 48 Hour Rule - if you have not heard from him within 48 hours the trail has gone cold. Nothing from him since.

Here's where it gets strange ... My friend Jane sent an IM on Sunday asking how things went. I said I had a very good time, she said he's a good guy and I agreed. And then sometime on Monday or Tuesday, she blocked me on Facebook. That was hurtful, I cared for her as my friend even though the relationship was not the deepest. Him I could really care less about, he was just another dude. I think what may have happened was that they conferenced over the meeting, he told her that he was not interested, and then she decided that she would block me to avoid dramatics. I would not have taken this out on her by any means, it wasn't her fault that things did not happen, but I also realize she and I didn't know each other well enough to know if that was the case with me.

I'm sad that I lost a friend over this, but then again she was not a good friend to begin with, right? I blocked him to avoid further dramatics on his end and erased his number from my phone.

[GLYC]

I don't understand some of this either. What's up with the blocking? I think that's dramatic behavior.

You had a date. Even if it didn't go good, I wouldnt go to the extremes of blocking people unless they start going off the deep end (ex: stalker/hostile/weird behavior or don't get the hint). Im not saying you have to give the other person another shot or anything. Sometimes things don't work out, and that's okay.
Although I feel like im in the minority with this. That's just how I live my life.

I understand though that people are different about this, women have to deal with dramatic, hostile, insecure and needy men all the time when those men get rejected.
They have a tendency to lash out more often.

"And he ended it badly with a good-bye, not a handshake,or"
Ending a date with a handshake?? Lol. That would be really awkward, but that's besides the point.

I don't think him reaching out quickly after the date is bad for that reason, but you probably like having some suspense and mystery.

The 48 hour rule in regards to texting? That's a new one. Although I agree, if he was interested he would have responded.
The 48 hour rule is traditionally where a man gets a woman's number and waits 48 hours to contact her so that she doesn't think he's needy.

I really don't understand why she blocked you. There's some information likely missing here because I can't find the link.
Although you're right, some people will block, ignore, or ghost people to avoid confrontation.

[pcmaster]

Well that is just crazy. No other explanation.

[Hooo!]

Maybe someone told lies or did it for him or whatever

[topazlight]

I think your friend should not have picked sides, no one did anything wrong, she tried to set up two friends, and it was an OK date for both but no real big sparks of anything and he was awkward socially and ticked some red flags for you regarding what you don't like within the dating scene and that is all okay to have.

I don't think she should have blocked you just because the set up wasn't as successful as she wanted. Maybe he complained about you, or told lies on you to her and that is why she blocked you. I would just pick up the phone, and call her directly and ask her why she blocked you and that it is okay but you'd like to know what you personally did to her to be blocked outside of not wanting to date her friend who was a stranger to you?