About ready to throw in the towel for good!

[CleanCut]

Damn, another one bites the dust... The cute woman I met up with for lunch today turned out to have two kids and is surprisingly 7 years older than me as well

[pcmaster]

Stick it in man ! Mums are the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1zNwMrtWtA

[CleanCut]

You already know I don't date women with kids PC or women that much older than me either... I need and deserve a decent younger women with no kids to make a fresh start with.

I have to do another Labs blood draw next week and I really hope the phlebotomist I have been wanting to ask out for a while is there this time as she is really cute and probably in her 20s. I think she may actually be single too as the only thing I remember her talking about the first time we met was her dog and usually chicks will start talking about their BF ,husband or kids before talking about a dog and I don't remember seeing a ring on her ring finger either. So, I guess I will see what happens there, if I ever see her again that is...

[Snow White]

Having cancer sucks. I know. I had it and it altered my sex life forever. If women aren't attracted to your bald head, that is their prerogative. You probably aren't attracted to fat women, for example. Don't take it personally, just look for women who don't have a problem with bald men. They do exist.

I keep re-reading your original post and it just sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself. Don't you realize how lucky you are to be alive? What is the vibe that you want to put out there? You are a survivor. You love life. If a woman can't see past your bald head, why would you want anything to do with her anyway?
We have talked about a man in another thread who has no arms or legs and is married and has a child!

Love usually comes when we are not aggressively searching for it. Don't give up. There is someone very special out there for you.

[CleanCut]

I know what you mean and I know my situation could be much worse, but I honestly do have days that I wish I never woke up from the surgery. Just battling the physical changes along with knowing my time is running out faster than most makes things difficult and daunting. All I can do is just keep looking, but it just feels like I'm running a race that I can't win.

[pcmaster]

It still been pretty recent since you had surgery.Like I said it can take years to bounce back to normal life or better than you had before. Yes time is valuable but more valuable is experience. Theres no point to exist for 100 years when you can live short but merely life. You want girl, you want part of someone elses life, share your minutes with someone, find passion in relationship. But right now most important relationship is with yourself. You have to learn to accept yourself full and be in peace with yourself and fact that life have other plans on you than you might want.
Learn to be your own friend and enjoy time alone. Feeling good while alone is reflection of healthy inner world. Some people feel in hell while alone. Its all about your deamons, you have to fight these negative thoughts. Once you think the right way you will feel like you can win.

[CleanCut]

I am ok with myself at this point and do enjoy my alone time, but I have been alone practically my entire adult life and it is time for a change. As I said, all I can do is just keep trying, It's just amazing to me how extremely unfair life can be though; especially with distribution of "life luck". Why doesn't awful things only happen to bad people? I mean I did nothing to deserve this kind situation nor does most other people that get cancer or some other life changing/threatening health issue. It is this kind of crap that makes it very clear to me that there is no real God or benevolent being out there that gives a shit about us and if there is any sort of "creator being", then it is an evil one that only created us because it enjoys seeing pain and suffering...

[pcmaster]

Think its harder for you to attract girls because you are desperate. Girls can sense needyness and it pushes them away.

You are not ok on your own cause negative thoughts are in your head while alone if you read your last post. Being out of your head - being a boyfriend, having a girlfriend would mmake you think more optimistic but thing is you have to get to this happy place already alone - before meeting girl if you dont want to be codependent or needy.

Like one guy wrote - girls are just icing on a cake. Life is already great.

Yes I understand you want a change but only way how to change world around you is to change yourself first. You think girls makes you feel something. But in reality you are the only person who makes you feel anything. Your pain is self inflicted. Its all in your mind and thoughts.

[CleanCut]

I've mentioned this before in other threads, but I'm definitively not showing them any desperation because I'm not desperate. If I really had to live the rest of my life alone, I could, but who really wants to do that?

Not sure you are getting what I'm saying PC; I've already have been through and have done all you are explaining there. Other than having a few short lived, but very happy relationships, I have been completely alone, no roommates, pets, or any other kind of life around for over a decade now and for the most part have been happy alone, up until the last few years.

However, my whole recent medical situation has just really shined a light on how very alone I really am in life and I want it to change it, therefore I'm doing all I can to change it now while I'm still physically able to do so and I'm not going to waste anymore time just doing nothing or "taking a break".

[pcmaster]

I see. So no breaks for you, you just have one gear - Go !

[TheEvilJester]

CleanCut, I honestly SO know how you feel. I know how hopeless it can feel. I've said this to you before in other threads, but a lot of what you say reminds me so much of myself. Knock wood, I've not had health struggles thus far, but I can relate to a lot of your struggles in finding love. I cal relate to that feeling of complete hopelessness like you are just doomed to be alone forever. So, I know from experience just how, no matter how much some of us may want to help, a lot of it is just words.

Just like you, I may feel like it is hopeless..... but I don't PROJECT that feeling into my life. I act like I have hope, like everything is great.... sometimes well enough that I actually start to believe it myself for a while. As much as I too know how tempting it can be to just throw in the towel..... the truth is if you do that then chances are you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you give up on finding love, stop trying, close yourself off to it completely..... well, then chances are it won't happen. Whereas, if you keep open to it, keep looking, keep trying.... even if every fiber of your being is sure you will never find it.... you may be pleasantly surprised.

SOOOO much easier said than done. Believe me, I know. I'm going through that struggle now myself. I also happen to be bald as well. In my case, bald by choice. ...Well, sort of by choice. My hair looks like complete $h*t if I try to wear it any other way. Even so, I DID for man many years because I loved the way I wore my hair even if it didn't look so good. ....Then I finally decided to change and I actually love my bald look even more.

Confidence is key. Some women don't mind bald guys. For now, and again, I know this from experience.... just adopt a fake it til you make it kind of attitude. In other words, you may not FEEL that confidence right now, but just ACT as though you do. In time, you just may ACTUALLY feel that confidence.

Trust me, I know how hopeless it can feel. I'm there myself right now. But, don't give up on yourself. You deserve happiness. Ideally, you should be able to find that happiness by yourself so that you don't NEED love. That doesn't mean you can't still WANT it, but ideal to not NEED it. But.... again, I too know how that is much easier said than done. I've been a hopeless romantic pretty much my whole life. I've always wanted love. Still, I'm trying. I've found things that make me happy even while still by myself. At my very worst, it doesn't help the loneliness and hopelessness.... but once I fight through that I at least enjoy a little bit of time where I am truly happy. So, those things DO help me when I'm able to finally fight through the worst of times.

Good luck. I sincerely hope you find that love you deserve, and hopefully sooner rather than later. You are a survivor. You survived cancer.... you can certainly survive this. Good luck, my friend.

[pcmaster]

You didnt had a cancer before you started dating and sleeping with girls. I think girls gave you cancer. Not necessary with sex but with their lame attitude afterwards.

[CleanCut]

I see. So no breaks for you, you just have one gear - Go !

Yep, my only option at this point since if I just wait around for good things to happen to me, they never will...

CleanCut, I honestly SO know how you feel. I know how hopeless it can feel. I've said this to you before in other threads, but a lot of what you say reminds me so much of myself. Knock wood, I've not had health struggles thus far, but I can relate to a lot of your struggles in finding love. I cal relate to that feeling of complete hopelessness like you are just doomed to be alone forever. So, I know from experience just how, no matter how much some of us may want to help, a lot of it is just words.

Just like you, I may feel like it is hopeless..... but I don't PROJECT that feeling into my life. I act like I have hope, like everything is great.... sometimes well enough that I actually start to believe it myself for a while. As much as I too know how tempting it can be to just throw in the towel..... the truth is if you do that then chances are you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you give up on finding love, stop trying, close yourself off to it completely..... well, then chances are it won't happen. Whereas, if you keep open to it, keep looking, keep trying.... even if every fiber of your being is sure you will never find it.... you may be pleasantly surprised.

SOOOO much easier said than done. Believe me, I know. I'm going through that struggle now myself. I also happen to be bald as well. In my case, bald by choice. ...Well, sort of by choice. My hair looks like complete $h*t if I try to wear it any other way. Even so, I DID for man many years because I loved the way I wore my hair even if it didn't look so good. ....Then I finally decided to change and I actually love my bald look even more.

Confidence is key. Some women don't mind bald guys. For now, and again, I know this from experience.... just adopt a fake it til you make it kind of attitude. In other words, you may not FEEL that confidence right now, but just ACT as though you do. In time, you just may ACTUALLY feel that confidence.

Trust me, I know how hopeless it can feel. I'm there myself right now. But, don't give up on yourself. You deserve happiness. Ideally, you should be able to find that happiness by yourself so that you don't NEED love. That doesn't mean you can't still WANT it, but ideal to not NEED it. But.... again, I too know how that is much easier said than done. I've been a hopeless romantic pretty much my whole life. I've always wanted love. Still, I'm trying. I've found things that make me happy even while still by myself. At my very worst, it doesn't help the loneliness and hopelessness.... but once I fight through that I at least enjoy a little bit of time where I am truly happy. So, those things DO help me when I'm able to finally fight through the worst of times.

Good luck. I sincerely hope you find that love you deserve, and hopefully sooner rather than later. You are a survivor. You survived cancer.... you can certainly survive this. Good luck, my friend.

Thanks a bunch. Yea, like I said before; just got to keep on keeping on and hope for the best; It's all I can do.

Right now I'm trying to search out any possible dating candidates at my company and fortunately something helpful actually came out of having lunch with that cute older woman yesterday as she is going to bring me around her department area where I don't know many people in to introduce me to a few single young women she knows.

[TheEvilJester]

Awesome! I am glad to hear it. That is a good start. Even if nothing specific winds up coming out of it, every experience of meeting new women gives you an opportunity to learn and grow. Hopefully, though, you do meet somebody super special. Good luck, man! Go find your true love.... then come back and tell us all about it. Maybe I can be newly inspired through you and finally find somebody myself. LOL!

[CleanCut]

You didnt had a cancer before you started dating and sleeping with girls. I think girls gave you cancer. Not necessary with sex but with their lame attitude afterwards.

LOL, that's probably it!

Awesome! I am glad to hear it. That is a good start. Even if nothing specific winds up coming out of it, every experience of meeting new women gives you an opportunity to learn and grow. Hopefully, though, you do meet somebody super special. Good luck, man! Go find your true love.... then come back and tell us all about it. Maybe I can be newly inspired through you and finally find somebody myself. LOL!

Yea, best of luck to the both of us. I'm just going to keep my eyes peeled daily and to take advantage of any opportunity that comes my way :-)