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Thread: I feel like im just in his way

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    Female
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    I feel like im just in his way

    My husband and i have been married for two years. We had a rocky start as we lived at our relatives whom he was very close with so i often had to fight for a bit of quality just me and him time. When we moved out it was as if we had just got married again. However the quality time thing didn't change. He is very ambitious and has been trying to set up a business from when we were dating and i was 100% supporting him. I haven't stopped its just that now all my attempts to help are just not to his standards. I feel so worthless. Im looking back at our two years and thinking 'what on earth have we done?' Im so bored and i have been a long time. Its always been me suggesting outings (that differ from dinner and a movie) and he has either declined (80%) or been miserable while we have gone(20%). He has been in and out of jobs but i have always saved £50 or so for special nights like valentines day or birthdays and even when he has had jobs theres been no input. It all goes to the business. I have been longing for a cheap vacation and wanted to go for our anniversary so we decided to save what we could but a month before he decided we didn't have the money.
    He doesn't desire me, doesn't respect my words or opinions, he doesn't want to invest in the marriage until maybe when the business is up and running but i have told him we need to balance everything otherwise we will have a business and no love for each other.
    I have sent naughty texts, cute texts, bought games, dressed up but the only effort he gives is putting on a movie over dinner once a week. At first that was fine as we didn't have money but im so bored of it now. I want to go camping, visit another town, go mountain climbing, go to the theatre, go abroad, dance classes, be surprised, be wooed, DO STUFF. Make memories because looking back its mostly been me begging for something and him miserably going along with it.. I know once we have children we won't ever get this time back where we can have fun without worrying if the kids r ok etc..

    This week i wanted to suggest having a bbq but he has been is a good flow with work and i feel like asking for something that he isn't quite up for is going to annoy him.

    I feel like just backing away and letting go of the desires to have a fun, loved up marriage. Maybe i just have to accept that he is just a sex buddy that i live with and will some day have children with.

    What do i do? What can i suggest to him?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Gender
    Female
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    1
    You both may take help from the financial advisor. Consulting an expert may help you on how to invest your money in the business and where to save it for yourself. One of friend also faced the same situation. She, along with her husband consulted an attorney, Bechara Tarabay (36avocats.com/annuaire/bechara-tarabay) so that he helps her clear out the mutual differences related to money.

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