Need advice on this

[RJB88]

Before I got with my girlfriend she met a guy on tinder, they met once and slept together but they have stayed in touch. The guy lives miles away but I can't help feeling like there is more in their relationship than she is saying. They have stayed in touch for 8 months and, granted they have only met once, she has said she intended to meet up with him again until she met me. Am I wrong to be worried about this?

[nerdy_guy]

Tinder is the amusement park where women ride the cock carousel

[TheEvilJester]

That... that was a rather amusing way to put it. LOL! I'm not sure if nerdy guy meant that to imply you SHOULD be concerned or SHOULDN'T.

Either way, I personally think it kind of depends. On a number of factors, really. Though, gut reaction I'd say probably not. They've known each other 8 months and only met once. That doesn't sound very serious at all. Not only that, but she said she was planning to meet up with him again... UNTIL SHE MET YOU. Pretty good sign, I think.

How long have you two been together? You called her your girlfriend, not just "the girl I'm seeing," so that also leans me towards thinking you have no reason to worry. Have you two actually officially agreed to those titles? That you are boyfriend/girlfriend?

So, I don't THINK it sounds like you have any reason to worry..... BUT, that doesn't mean you have to just be okay with it. If it bothers you, it bothers you. If you think you can get past it and be okay with it, then that would be best. If you don't think you can, then it would be best to talk to her about it rather than hope you can just ignore it. If you try to ignore it when you know you really can't, it is only going to escalate in your mind until you get to a point where you can't keep silent anymore and you risk maybe saying/doing something wrong.

So, if it bothers you enough then it is best just to talk to her about it. Don't accuse her of doing anything wrong because as far as you know she hasn't. But, just let her know how the situation makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you two can discuss it and find a middle ground that keeps you both happy. Maybe not, but even then you'd at least be better learning that sooner rather than later. If you two CAN'T agree to some middle ground that works for both of you, maybe your philosophies on this sort of thing are just too different for you two to work. That wouldn't mean either of you is wrong per se, just that you aren't a good match.

But, that's just a worst case scenario. Hopefully she could understand how you feel and hopefully this guy isn't so important to her that she can't just stop talking to him, or at the very least keep it to much more of a minimum. Good luck to you either way.

[GLYC]

Ehhh.. it would bother me to be honest, realistically, this is your girlfriend, and I bet this guy is trying to Weasle his way into her life.

It's fine to talk with her about it. Look at it as if the tables were turned, would she be concerned?

Typically, when things fall through guys like this are the replacement guys. And im not saying your relationship is going to fail. But realistically this would be the first guy she went to. Just some random information. Seen it happen to myself and lots of friends over the years.

[Hooo!]

Tell her what gly said in your own words
Pay attention to how she reacts and not to what exactly she sais