Men That Never Text?

[GLYC]

Ladies, just wondering, does it bother you when men you're dating never text you?

I've found that women sometimes feel as if I don't care, am not interested or like theyre just some another woman because I usually use the phone solely for appointments and making dates. Especially early on. Yet im actually just looking to get to know them in person. I know some seldom sweet messages would probably go a long way towards resolving this.

I actually think ive lost some women over this. When in reality I just like to give women the space and freedom to come and go. I know I need to now bring up my communication style and intent early on in a discussion with women.

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Or I should say, what is going through your mind when men act like that? Just curious.

[lovebroken]

I don't mind about texting because I hate doing it myself. I am much more a in person or phone person but have GFs who love texting, FBing addicted to all things phone and want mini novel size texts daily. I'd rather no texts over one or two word texts back or an emoji, lol. People should realize not everyone enjoys having texting conversations and if that happened I don't think people would get as upset.

[nerdy_guy]

Don't think about it as suffocating or not giving space, that would mean you're overdoing it. Just send her a message or two a day, you know, just to say hi, or wish her well. Texting isn't a replacement for real conversations but its a convenient way to show that you care. think of it like your girlfriend leaving you a loving note on your door while your away. would you tell her to stop it or would you be happy to read something from her when you come back home?

[GLYC]

Good replies.
[MENTION=77017]lovebroken[/MENTION] Same. I prefer to show that I'm interested and care based on my actions, such as planning really kick ass well thought out
dates with multiple locations/stops. But some women still get confused. And no, I don't ignore texts or calls, I answer them when I can. Texting just isn't my thing.


[MENTION=44120]nerdy_guy[/MENTION] I agree, I guess I prefer to build up to that kind of stuff because ultimately I just want to avoid a text-lationship. If I text too often, women get the impression that that's always how I'll be, and when I can't keep up that streak? Well, somethings wrong. I'm either pissed or don't care. Been there before, and that gets difficult. But you're right, I think a nice basic message every few days will work best for me. Not really looking at getting into huge conversations over text or getting to know people over text

[lovebroken]

I think if you tell a person right off when going out what you like and prefer not to do as in communication they should be understanding and not push for something only they enjoy. If you send one nice one to start or the end the day or in confirmation of plans should be enough. I don't understand why women or men have to get upset when they know the reason and fact of things upfront. Same as FB hurts and upsets. I understand why some couples don't add eachother to their accounts.

[GLYC]

I agree. It's difficult sometimes just getting that conversation out there because it can feel unnatural or almost like you're getting ahead of things .
But you just have to plunge, I'll start doing it next time when im calling for the next date.
It just saves for less confusion. I've done it before and that situation panned out better than my more recents.

Yeah, that difference in communication styles can be a killer. Dating and relationships are already difficult at times.
Ive had women later telling me that they didn't think I cared, that i didnt seem to be interested or that they were just a low option.

It always comes out from left field as well, im thinking the woman's really secure and probably has a lot of guys always going after her, but maybe since I'm not a huge chaser that it makes me look a little bit different or like im playing a ton of games. I'm like, uh, my words when I last called you were, "I would really love to see you again" and im like, "Of course I was interested?"

It's tough, then you get into thinking that maybe they just weren't that interested. Which, I think in my situations was the ultimate case.

Regardless, i care about women and will express that, but I'm not going to re-validate that by blowing up your phone at all times, sorry. It's just not how I am.

It's just a little bit frustrating when women expect you to chase them and may resent you for not doing it, or say they hate men that play games, yet some will purposely never reach out to a man that they're interested in. Oh well. I kind of think it'd be difficult to have an easy, healthy and effortless relationship with women like this anyways which is always the ultimate goal.

[pcmaster]

Well texting is cool when you are young but as you mature it gets less fun and you want spend that time for something real and more natural. Some and especialy older females respond only to guys who write like poets, or at least interesting. Still even without texting its cool to call for few minutes a day on days you are not dating and talk a little. Saves a lot of time and are more natural than texts.

[dollhouse]

Not really a bother to me... (unless) I am having a stressful day and text to vent because cannot call and nothing comes back in any way of support... that makes me feel down ... not angry but some support even a text saying, " hang in there, babe "... kissie face would be appreciated.

[GLYC]

Good feedback. I couldn't bear to ignore a woman's texts that i was dating, i just feel bad about it. Damn you conscience!! I just genuinely care so.

Really, Its generally rude to just ignore a woman's texts for any reason, I think they should generally be answered that same night unless they were sent late.

[omgtotallyxo]

I am a woman and I don't like having long conversations over text either. I rather talk and do things in person. But I do like a short message once in a awhile (once every 2-3 days).

[GLYC]

I am a woman and I don't like having long conversations over text either. I rather talk and do things in person. But I do like a short message once in a awhile (once every 2-3 days).

I agree, I kinda like the same thing. Being a man, it's kinda fun to send and to receive those at times.
I'm secure enough where I can go a long time without contact. But its always fun to open up a little message that says "can't wait to see you" or "I miss you" or "good luck today!"

[LadE]

So glad there are other "text relationship loathers" out there!!
I'm a lady (29) and I really dislike getting or having to send text everyday or few times a day. It becomes a chore, irritating and draining.. Sadly many thing that is what you MUST do if you date someone. I totally agree with what someone said earlier, it then just becomes a text-lationship. Especially hate it at the beginning or before a first date. Soon you feel like you already know each other but you don't and when you're in person, it's awkard, you don't know what to talk about and feel like your relationship is on level 1 where via text you feel like you're at level 5.
Texting everyday and especially few times a day gets boring, predictable and you run out of things to talk about.

I much more appreciate actions and spending time in person than via texts and it has a level of maturity to it.
Also, it allows you to actually live your own life and be productive too.

However, both needs to be secure enough in themselves for minimal texting otherwise your overthinking will make you crazy.

[GLYC]

I agree, routines are bad, I think routine messages, like good morning/good night texts are stupid.
It's much better to be spontaneous. If you want to send her a sweet little message, or update her with something funny that happened.
Do it. Do it because you want to, I have a hard time believing 2 months in you still want to say good morning every day. That would be a grudge to me, I literally couldn't.

It's funny, ive spoken to men that think you need to routinely text women or else they will forget about you. Not true. Lol.
If she forgets about you, she really wasn't into you regardless. So as a reponse, these men text women a crap ton thinking that it's necessary, and that women crave texting.

I've also met women that I have never texted much ever, yet ironically, years later, they still have hit me up trying to get a date, which kind of proves that that type of communication isn't necessary. Some of these are women I've maybe exchanged 10 texts back and forth with. The reality is, Attraction isn't a choice.
Of course, you can still do things to unattract women and help attract women.
Texting is pretty miniscule in that though, it's more about not talking her out of liking you sometimes, or being too cold when she does reach out.

I agree with the actions aspect. That's my love language. As I said, I put a lot of thought into other things which shows my interest level and attraction.
A man that spends sometimes hours looking at different date locations, calling places, looking at menus, looking at Google Street view, comparing times, seeing what else is nearby.

That man genuinely cares a lot. He's going through the motion to make a perfect night.