Posted previously about bf who lost his job but wants to marry me once he's employed. He is 65 and I'm 60. I am well settled financially and he has no savings but just inherited $50000 in trust because he owes judgments. If he gets a job does this change my plan to leave him and should it ?
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29-08-17, 06:54 AM #1
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Now what? Should I still run away?
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29-08-17, 05:20 PM #2
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Why would you run away?
He who laughs last, thinks the slowest
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30-08-17, 12:24 AM #3
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Just FYI, many of us do not have the time to go back through previous posts to remember somebody's complete history. I don't mean to be critical, I'm just sharing that because you may want to post updates in the existing thread or at least give some quick background on your new thread of the details from before.
I think I remember your earlier thread, though. If I am remembering who you are, then this honestly isn't really a question we can answer for you. The real question is, if he gets a job, does that change YOUR feelings on whether you'd want to still be with him? Let's pretend for a moment your only issue with the relationship is you are worried he doesn't truly have the motivation to actually try to find a job.... but then he actually does find one after all. ...Shouldn't that at least give you cause to think maybe things are okay after all? I don't know if that is your only concern in the relationship, though. I'm speaking hypothetically.
So, really, only you can know. If he suddenly found a job tomorrow.... would that make you feel like you no longer had reason for concern and that the relationship would be worth continuing.... or would it feel too little too late for you anyway? Or, even, you may think it just an empty gesture on his part trying to make it look like he has motivation but you'd be sure it wouldn't be long until things were back to normal.
I do wish I could be of more help, but this is one of those situations where only you will really know. I hope, if nothing else, I at least helped you think it through by seeing it from somebody else's logic. Good luck.
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30-08-17, 12:16 PM #4
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WHO IS SLACKJAW and why does he have that same post on every thread I go on!!!!
This post is a bit confusing. Were you planning on leaving him because he didn't have a job? It sounds like he is now financially secure, but is it that important to you that he has a job? Do you feel you are being used because you are "settled financially" and he has no savings? Money or no money, job or no job, you either love someone enough for better or worse to marry them or you don't.
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31-08-17, 01:52 AM #5
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Case in point, soconfused. And, again, I am not pointing this out to be an annoying nag. LOL! Just pointing it out because you can get better responses when you give more details. Snow White is awesome and gives great, caring advice. ...But it looks like she maybe didn't see your older post, so now she doesn't have the context to understand what you are talking about.
Originally Posted by Snow White
Snow,
To clarify, I believe soconfused posted another thread here before with further details if you are interested to go back and review that. This is just a follow-up/sequel to that thread, hence why there wasn't as much detail.
