I love him so much I feel like I'm losing him

[Blueskies1969]

Hello all I am new to this site and just need to talk and ask for some feedback.


I've been with my man for for a year and 5 months. We moved in fairly quickly and we both share rental property so we have a very serious relationship.

I found out last year he was cheating on me with his ex throughout the entire time. He denied it all though. Even though I know in my heart it's true... I just decided to forgive him and move foward. My issue is not feeling like I'm enough for him. I just want him to love me the way that I love him. I Pay all of the living bills at his house and all the bills at the rental property. Anytime we go out, I pay the tabs. I feel like he has it pretty darn good with me. Why would he want anyone else? I try and give him weekly massages, I clean, cook, take care of laundry and I try my best to be as supportive as I can. But there is something in him that feels like he wants to cheat and I just do not feel enough for him. We went on a weekend getaway to Gatlinburg and though I paid for everything, even bought him a souvenir for us to remember our first trip, he only bought something for him and his son and nothing for me. he didn't even want to have sex with me

And I feel in my gut that he may still want the ex. Don't ask me how or why I feel this way, its just a hunch. Maybe its because it was said that he bough her a couch and dining room table for her apartment. For him to do that for her tells me he was more serious about her than he led me to believe in the beginning.

She and I conversed a bit when all of the cheating came out. She isn't the one who told me..... she had no intentions on letting it out. Our mutual friend told me. In the midst of our conversation... she told me that she was planning to transfer to Texas to be closer to her sister. I ask on occasion, updates on her status and if she is still moving.

Lately, he's been having his phone on him and constantly checking his phone ( just like he did when I suspected him of cheating before it came out) when I ask him a question he says "none of your business" or "none of your f***ing business" or "who are you the FBI?" I am just seriously just asking innocent questions. Plus He regularly threatens to end things, maybe it's to hurt me or maybe it's because he DOES have SOMEONE waiting in the wings if we end things.

I don't know what to do. We've been relatively good these past few days but I am constantly walking on eggshells with him and though he tells me that I am more than enough for him and that he loves me, in my heart i feel as though that isn't true. I just need some feedback on my situation.

[madotnw_nihs]

I think what your heart is telling you is the truth. Don't ever think that you are not enough for someone. People either love you or they don't. From what you are saying, it seems like you are doing everything for him and he is taking advantage of you. I know it hurts to break up, but this doesn't seem like it will go anywhere (at least not something you will be happy with).

[Blueskies1969]

I think what your heart is telling you is the truth. Don't ever think that you are not enough for someone. People either love you or they don't. From what you are saying, it seems like you are doing everything for him and he is taking advantage of you. I know it hurts to break up, but this doesn't seem like it will go anywhere (at least not something you will be happy with).

Thank you for your feedback. I wonder that everyday "why am I still here?" or Why can't he just love me the way that I love him. When he's nice, I feel like there is an angle. I feel like he's aiming for a favor.

[nerdy_guy]

I think it is best to move on. That is just plain abusive. He is just looking for someone to he could use

[Snow White]

First, I truly believe one should always go with their gut feelings. That is something we were given for survival. Second, I can't understand why you would want to be with someone who has cheated on you and even with your forgiveness, still doesn't treat you well.

Read your post. What would you tell a friend who wrote that? You are lacking love and respect for yourself and that is why he treats you that way. People treat us the way we allow them to treat us. Would YOU treat someone you loved that way? I don't think so. So why voluntarily submit yourself to such pain? Sometimes we are so afraid of being alone, we will desperately hold on to things that simply are not good for us.

I don't think you really need me to tell you he is not treating you the way you deserve and you should leave him. You already know in your heart that that is the case. You need to be brave and invest the love you have for him in yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You picked a man who takes advantage of women. Work on yourself and you will begin to attract men who have respect for strong, confident women. You must love yourself and feel worthy of the best treatment before any one else will see you that way.

[GLYC]

^ Well said. [MENTION=85802]Snow White[/MENTION]

I agree with her post entirely.