What is on his mind!?

[Snooker]

I hope someone could help me with this situation that I am going through right now as I am sick and tired of this bitter heart ache. Sorry if this ends up being a long post, and please forgive any spelling mistakes since I am Typing this from my phone. I need to know what's on my ex's mind!!

I met my ex around 2.5 yrs ago. At first, we were just friends as I didn't really like him as a bf when I first met him. We started going out after 7 months. During this time, he did his best to impress him and make me like him. His effort in trying to date me made me wanna give him a chance. As we started going out I slowly but surely fell in love with him as time went by. He was extremely sweet and so in love. He would show me off, and took pride in going out with me as he thought I was a really good girl. Sometimes he would say that I was too good to be true. We lived 2 hours away since I moved back home, but he would come and see me every weekend. He couldn't function if he could not hear my voice one day.

My family were against our marriage because of our education difference since I hold a masters degree, but he had a diploma. But it was not important to me. I loved him for who he was. He obtained his electrician license to make me happy. And trust me I was very happy in this relationship, and thought life was beautiful. But there were some problems. He was very strict in terms of what I wear, and who I talk to. He said he couldn't take other guys taking to me as I was only his.

After a year, he would get upset at the fact that I never went and stayed with him. But since I was living with my strict persian parents I just had to leave them for ever or do as my bf said. I would still try to go and see him leaving my house early in the morning. Once my mom found out that I am going to his city to see him and said if I left I could not go back home. I told him that and he said that I either go see him or forget about him. I was so scared to lose him so I got in a huge fight with my mom and left to see him, something that my mom blames me for to this very day. His parents were also against me for whatever reason that I didn't understand. But he forced them to come to my house and talk to my parents about marriage. That was in September 2011, and my mom had invited my uncle who decided that we should think more and set a date for our wedding in Jan. my ex did not like my family and he didn't like the fact that they tried to control me. I am 29, but my patents are strict Persians.

Anyway, after they left my house him and his paretns got in a huge fight about what would happen to their house if he gets married since they shared their house. After a month he became really distant. The same person who couldn't sleep if he didn't hear my voice would not take my calls, and would just ignore me. I cried for four straight months but remained very understanding but I would complain about his coldness, and he would say he is just tired from work. But sometimes he would go back to his normal self and apologize and say that he really loves me and doesn't know why he treated me like that.

In December he was getting very distant so I told him its better if we take a break. He said ok but please don't think there is anyone else involved here, I just feel depressed and need sometime alone. But then I heard from friends that he had told them we broke up. After the break up he was distant for awhile. I was a complete mess after the breakup. He messaged me a few days later to wish me happy new year, and when I told him what I was going through he said that he is going through hell as well. He said that he has taken off a week from work because of his emotional state, and I do believe him. My friend asked one of his friends about how my ex was doing, and they said he is very confused and a complete mess. He had told his friends that getting married is hard nowadays. They said at times when he would get drunk he would tell them that he wants to call me to get back, but the next day he would say no I am not going to. This whole time for the past 5 months I have been going insane without him, to the point where I am getting heart problems, but I just cant stop myself from loving him and damaging my body for the first month, I told him that I loved him and we should get back nd he kept saying that he loves me with all his heart, but can not be with me. He said because he could not move to my city, and also cuz my mom and him did not like each other things wont work. Then I started acting cold and he kept begging me to go to see him, but then I forgot to wish him happy birthday..he got extremely upset and all those plans got cancelled. Now he has popped back into my life again for the past month, and says all these wonderful things to me about how he loves and misses me, and thinks we should get together, and talk about the possibility of getting back. This could also be due to the fact that I am moving to where he lives starting in September, and he knows he could have me all to himself without all those family pressures. He says he cant love anybody else, but does not know if we will be happy together cuz of families not liking each other. He is very afraid of getting married, and keeps talking about the rate of divorce. I dont know what I should do with him.. I love him with all my heart, but I know my family will kill me if I got back with him, because they think he is not the type of guy to take responsibility and stay committed to me. They think he could change his mind and divorce me any time if things go slightly wrong.. I just don't understand how he could live without me if he loves me as much as he claims..how can he say that he is dying to see me but not make any attempt to see me ..I asked him and he said if he sees me he will go crazy..

[Snow White]

I know you came on here looking for a man's opinion. I like to check in because I am always interested in what the guy's have to say.

It is always very hard when the family gets involved in a romantic relationship. They always mean well because of their love and concern for us, but they can be very narrow minded and judgemental. Being Persian adds an even more serious layer. Being 29, you are adult enough to make your own decisions.

Your family does not know him like you do. He also needs to be mature and stand up to his family for you and also stand up to YOUR family for the both of you. The bond between the both of you must be strong and on the same track or your families will be able to break it down. It never feels good knowing that your in laws don't like you or accept you, but their opinion really doesn't count in ones marriage. You must be a team and decide what the two of you want.