Another breakup story...lots of confusion.....Be friends???

[Mish]

as i kinda have exactly the same problem currently (u can read my topic) in my experience i would strongly advice u to have the no contact strategy, something i miserably failed

I believe that no contact is not neccessary (Once you acknowledge the fact the relationship part is over and you are over the girl). Why should you loose a friend just because the relationship failed? Ex's can make very good friends, because they know so much about you and can always give a good advice

[Lion-Guy]

I believe that no contact is not neccessary (Once you acknowledge the fact the relationship part is over and you are over the girl). Why should you loose a friend just because the relationship failed? Ex's can make very good friends, because they know so much about you and can always give a good advice

Mishanya I appreciate the advice, but there is no way I could be just friends after an intimate 3 year relationship with this women. It would be far to painful to see her with another man.
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Anyway, I just wanted to give a quick update on my situation:

I took my ex out for a casual dinner a week ago. I just wanted to remind her one last time that I was a nice guy and would treat her well. Things went great and we talked a lot, but nothing about our relationship. I wanted it to be an enjoyable experience with no pressure.

She e-mailed me a day later and thanked me for the dinner. It has been 4 days I started NC. I think she became curious why I was not talking to her, so she called me on Halloween and asked what I was doing and how I have been. I didn't call back! Then she e-mailed me the next day asking what was new what I have been doing. This NC thing really seems to make the EX curious as to what you are up to. I didn't want to offend her so I e-mailed back a quote hello note.

Of course, I know things might now work out, but the NC has helped my sanity and keeps me from thinking about her. A lot of my sadness has started to go away after two weeks since our break-up.

When you are using the NC concept, are you supposed to ignore their contact or just no be the one to not initiate NC?[/b]

[Rosebud]

No contact means No contact... don't respond to her when she calls and you don't make any attempts to speak to her as well.

[Lion-Guy]

No contact means No contact... don't respond to her when she calls and you don't make any attempts to speak to her as well.

Ok so I finally did it. I called her up today and told her it was over between us. I told her that I no longer wanted to wait for her to make up her mind. I couldn't handle the fact that she was going out to bars all the time having fun while I was home worrying about things. (I did this all in a nice gentlemen's manner of course)

I went out and met some new friends last night and realized there is more to life than waiting for someone to make up their mind. I know I didn't even wait a whole month, maybe that was a mistake. Hopefully this will allow me to move on with my life and make new friendships. I had a feeling that if I didn't tell her this, she would continue to string me along and it would never go anywhere.

How can they truly miss you and feel that they have lost you if you continue to talk them every few days and answer their messages? Maybe she will realize how serious her decision to take a break was and that she just lost a great guy that loved her deeply. Maybe even she will want me back once she realizes that I am out of her life for good. Not sure I could take her back at this point.

Who knows what she is thinking. But I know that life will go on and I will have less anxiety and depressed thoughts from this moment on. Thanks again for all the support. I will keep you updated if things change. If anyone has any comments feel free to let me know what you think.

take care