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Thread: Can he really see me as a friend?

  1. #1
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    Can he really see me as a friend?

    Ok, I am one that doesn't believe in the whole guy-girl friend thing. You can't be just friends with a guy or a girl. Even if there are some exceptions to the rule, those exceptions could break too someday, you can never say never. But in this case, we kind of knew each other for years. We weren't exactly friends because he was studying in another country but when he returned we started talking, it lead to flirting and we said that we would meet up and that we wanted something to happen between us. Then he gets a job proposal at yet another country and when we meet he tells me it's better that nothing happens between us, because he's leaving and of course he was right since I didn't want just a one night stand. But the real tricky thing happens next: After he leaves, we maintain contact and he calls me friend, he even says things like ''I consider you something like my little sister''. And I'm like ''seriously????"'
    Could this really happen? I mean, yeah things didn't proceed but he can't possibly be able to only see me as a friend!

  2. #2
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    I think from what you wrote, it's possible that he only sees you as a friend. But I am someone who believes a guy/gal can just be friends.

  3. #3
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    I think that, to be able to firmly answer that with absolute certainty, you must first bring to mind all the different scenarios in which something could happen between you and your friend and say '' No, I wouldn't make a move not even then!''

  4. #4
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    I have similar question. I am married and was invited by him obviously for the sex. The difference in age between us is huge, but I was Miss of my Country and am really very sexy looking MILF, very educated as well as mini local celebrity. It turns that he told me, he would like if we can stay regular? I liked him a lot and encouraged that idea, speacially my marriage sex life was dead!
    I had to go to bussiness trip and when I came back, I was shocked when he told me, I am married and there can be nothing between us, so he decided, we can be only friends. I was feeling insulted and told him that after such a story between us, I decide, not to be even friends kuz my feelings developed through what happened. He said ok, and that was it.
    I was heartbroken but the life continued. We had to have some contacts and he was not so nice on many ocassions towards me. Eventualy, he went to work abroad. He had to stay long time, but he came back very quickly. One day I received a sms from him how horny he is about me suggesting me to me to meet that night and have crazy sex etc. I got so suorised and happy offcoursed (in a way I think I loved him), that I went and we had great night togather. Those days he was sugesting me to go to together to the nude beach talking about it like imagine how great sex we will have there etc...etc....
    Few weeks went by we were in touch from time from time but didn't talk about sex or talk about it or us. Few days ago I asked him shall we have some cuddling when we see each other, suprisingly, he told me 'no'. I asked why?, why do we have sex when you want and when I want we do not have..... he said he has a girlfriend and is is serious so he doesn't wanna loose her. And besides, he doesnt have sex with friends.

    I was shocked inside, I didn't show it, angry and told him okay, but if it is so, I can no longer be friend with him becouse I said 'when I am with you I feel so horny that I do not want to expose myselfe to such feelings' so goodbuy...I wish you all the best, keep well in your life!

    Tomorow he texed me, as nothing had napened yesterday.....talking about some normal things. I just assepted it in a way, okay let's where is this going to. I asked him how is the rellationship going, he started to laugh and said something funny like it dried out if I know what he mean. I did not really know what did he mean, but sat hes and laught with him togather.

    So, dear MALE friends, please help? What is going on in head of this 30 year old sexy handsome man? Today he did not texted me at all. I am wondering to ask him to go to the nude beach whille nice wheather is still nice, out of blue....But I don't want to go to much over the line. I wouldn't like to loose him kuz he is perfect for my situation in a way that we really have good sex as well as great mental rellationship. I am sure that if I am not marriend and his age we would end up married. We are going so well together that we did't argue even ones berween s even ones.

    I do not want to take your time friends. Please help to understand this situation better. Can he really look at me as a friend after all or is he in a state o had too much of me....Thank you for any of your thought or opinion!

    Best
    Kofee4Twoo

    - - - Updated - - -

    I have similar question. I am married and was invited by him obviously for the sex. The difference in age between us is huge, but I was Miss of my Country and am really very sexy looking MILF, very educated as well as mini local celebrity. It turns that he told me, he would like if we can stay regular? I liked him a lot and encouraged that idea, speacially my marriage sex life was dead!
    I had to go to bussiness trip and when I came back, I was shocked when he told me, I am married and there can be nothing between us, so he decided, we can be only friends. I was feeling insulted and told him that after such a story between us, I decide, not to be even friends kuz my feelings developed through what happened. He said ok, and that was it.
    I was heartbroken but the life continued. We had to have some contacts and he was not so nice on many ocassions towards me. Eventualy, he went to work abroad. He had to stay long time, but he came back very quickly. One day I received a sms from him how horny he is about me suggesting me to me to meet that night and have crazy sex etc. I got so suorised and happy offcoursed (in a way I think I loved him), that I went and we had great night togather. Those days he was sugesting me to go to together to the nude beach talking about it like imagine how great sex we will have there etc...etc....
    Few weeks went by we were in touch from time from time but didn't talk about sex or talk about it or us. Few days ago I asked him shall we have some cuddling when we see each other, suprisingly, he told me 'no'. I asked why?, why do we have sex when you want and when I want we do not have..... he said he has a girlfriend and is is serious so he doesn't wanna loose her. And besides, he doesnt have sex with friends.

    I was shocked inside, I didn't show it, angry and told him okay, but if it is so, I can no longer be friend with him becouse I said 'when I am with you I feel so horny that I do not want to expose myselfe to such feelings' so goodbuy...I wish you all the best, keep well in your life!

    Tomorow he texed me, as nothing had napened yesterday.....talking about some normal things. I just assepted it in a way, okay let's where is this going to. I asked him how is the rellationship going, he started to laugh and said something funny like it dried out if I know what he mean. I did not really know what did he mean, but sat hes and laught with him togather.

    So, dear MALE friends, please help? What is going on in head of this 30 year old sexy handsome man? Today he did not texted me at all. I am wondering to ask him to go to the nude beach whille nice wheather is still nice, out of blue....But I don't want to go to much over the line. I wouldn't like to loose him kuz he is perfect for my situation in a way that we really have good sex as well as great mental rellationship. I am sure that if I am not marriend and his age we would end up married. We are going so well together that we did't argue even ones berween s even ones.

    I do not want to take your time friends. Please help to understand this situation better. Can he really look at me as a friend after all or is he in a state o had too much of me....Thank you for any of your thought or opinion!

    Best
    Kofee4Twoo

  5. #5
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    I am just going to ignore that you both were/are in serious relationships but are just seeking Friends with benefits. At the end of the day, you are a bootie call. He will come to you when he is horny and will say to whatever he doesn't want to do. It seems like you want something more than just sex with him and he doesn't see it that way.

  6. #6
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    Thank you madotnw_nihs so much! It was not clear to me wheater he wants to be lets say friend with me anymore or what. And you are right, I wouldn't say I expect, but I do have feelings for him.

  7. #7
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    That's why it's important to try to have feelings in these relationships. Can things not get better with your husband? Why is your marriage sex life dead?

  8. #8
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    Thank you for your sincere intererest in problems in my life, I appreciate it so much!

    My husband just seems to be totally ignorant what NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME can provoke in our marriage and damage it. We are both 50, in my opinion, I feel 25, I have more then ever sex drive. Regarding him, it comes ocassionaly, like ones a month, and my assumption is that he just do not think about it but leaving to mother nature.

    That is why I do not feel guilty kuz I am sleeping with this man. I have such a strong sex drive, feel stupid to use vibrators all the time, and this became for me a NEED! It's hard to explain not been funny, but this drive for me is serious problem. I feel as something is wrong with me )) literary chasing a sex partner at parties, outings, school gatherings etc....

    Since I am not a person that want and like to change man, I strive to have stable rellationship with this guy. But the problem is, beside all, that this man is, as Madotnw_nilhs said, treating me as someone who will call me maybe when he want, maybe not. It is frustrating for me badly. Once he is calling for fun and sex, telling me I am his best friend (what I really believe, I am), we spend lots of quolity time togather and we realy like each other. He invites me to Nude Beach, we laugh, he keep all confidential and tell me that can speak the way he likes only with me. Then one day he wakes up, and I initiate possible sex, and he says NO, I don't sleep with friends.
    This is the second time he did to me sice we know each other and it was after I ASKED FOR SEX.
    I have a feeling that initiative capsul is me asking for sex. Only when I ask he says no. On other occassion he wants to have sex.

    Asking man, do you guys have any idea, why I triger NO.....what may be going in his had? How can I improove the situation? Shall I talk openly about all this?

    Thank you to anyone who reply, this is a nightmare for me.

    Best

    Coffee4Twoo

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thank you for your sincere intererest in problems in my life, I appreciate it so much!

    My husband just seems to be totally ignorant what NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME can provoke in our marriage and damage it. We are both 50, in my opinion, I feel 25, I have more then ever sex drive. Regarding him, it comes ocassionaly, like ones a month, and my assumption is that he just do not think about it but leaving to mother nature.

    That is why I do not feel guilty kuz I am sleeping with this man. I have such a strong sex drive, feel stupid to use vibrators all the time, and this became for me a NEED! It's hard to explain not been funny, but this drive for me is serious problem. I feel as something is wrong with me )) literary chasing a sex partner at parties, outings, school gatherings etc....

    Since I am not a person that want and like to change man, I strive to have stable rellationship with this guy. But the problem is, beside all, that this man is, as Madotnw_nilhs said, treating me as someone who will call me maybe when he want, maybe not. It is frustrating for me badly. Once he is calling for fun and sex, telling me I am his best friend (what I really believe, I am), we spend lots of quolity time togather and we realy like each other. He invites me to Nude Beach, we laugh, he keep all confidential and tell me that can speak the way he likes only with me. Then one day he wakes up, and I initiate possible sex, and he says NO, I don't sleep with friends.
    This is the second time he did to me sice we know each other and it was after I ASKED FOR SEX.
    I have a feeling that initiative capsul is me asking for sex. Only when I ask he says no. On other occassion he wants to have sex.

    Asking man, do you guys have any idea, why I triger NO.....what may be going in his had? How can I improove the situation? Shall I talk openly about all this?

    Thank you to anyone who reply, this is a nightmare for me.

    Best

    Coffee4Twoo

  9. #9
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    Is there a reason you are staying with your husband? I understand that you are horny all the time, but this cloak and dagger stuff isn't ideal.

  10. #10
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    Thats a hard one man..

    - - - Updated - - -

    AFRAID SO BUT CAN BE FIXED

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