Blew it after few dates. Can I fix it?

[Smoke]

I asked out a girl from university in may. We went to a three dates and talked a lot in first two months. I can tell she was super interested. Then she started to distance herself so I confronted her about this and she confessed that other guy asked her out at the same time and she had to make up her mind to choose me. A little later she said I'm pushing too hard and that I must understand that it takes time for her to develop a connection with anyone.

We met once in august because I was really busy and I can tell it pissed her off, but date itself went fine. Then I can tell I ruined all of it because I tried to "force" her to open up more and then acted kinda clingy and desperate when I tried to ask her out more than once later, but she always avoided to decline me directly. I could tell she was getting distand over last two months and stupidly I kept bringing it up. At the beginning she said again that it takes time, later that she tried to see as a couple but is unsure and in the end that she doesn't feel anything special even though I'm great guy. She also mentioned that there was enough time for her to make up her mind, and if nothing happened by now it is not going to change what suprised me as before she said something opposite to take things slow...

I know I ruined it with my behaviour, I'm just unsure if it is how she felt all along or I forced her to say something like this with my repetitive questions? It is probably naive but I still hope that maybe if I give her some time she will change her mind...

[madotnw_nihs]

It sounds unlikely that she will change her mind. Are you guys a good match? It seems like the dates have been sparse.

[Smoke]

It sounds unlikely that she will change her mind. Are you guys a good match? It seems like the dates have been sparse.

It wasn't this bad, we met by the end of may so it was more like 3 dates in a month. We couldn't also meet that much during vacation cause I was away for most of the time. I really have feeling that I acted badly over texts after our date in august that's why she refused to go to another and started to pull back. Now I feel bad about all of this.

Last week after she said that there is no chance for anything we stopped talking to each other. Today, after a week, she texted me asking how were my first days at university. I know we both agreed to not cut the contact entirely but now I'm confused she actually didn't. I also feel that everytime she reaches out now I will hope that there is maybe a chance for something.

[Spinosaurus]

Hi Smoke, I think you should stop focussing on this one person and start looking around more and meeting other people. It's exactly what she did and it seems she already lost interest after she went on a date with another guy. She also told you she does not see this working out. I understand that you hope there is still chance for something to happen, but why would you invest your precious time in someone who does not reciprocate when there are so many great people out there ;-)

[pcmaster]

When girl starts to act flakey and you are not experienced with girls then its good time to send that girl to hell and start date new girl. Really 3 dates are time when it usually ends cause by then you both start to see who the person really are and then interest gets stronger or weaker. Weaker for her in your case. Girls dont talk directly to not to hurt your feelings. They cant say no or I dont like you or this or that. They rather keep quiet or start to avoid progress. You wanted direct answer from non logical emotional creature who dont want to hurt your feelings. Of course you didnt get the answer you wanted.

Yeah its confusing when girls messages you after it ended. But say to her either she agrees to meet or dont message you at all. You might lose a lot of chances with girls at your uni if you keep fruitless messaging with girl who you have feelings for but are not progressing with.