Longing to be loved 2

[pcmaster]

I mean this I would like to happen. This is not what actually happens. Only once I said that I wanted girl to be my GF. And I had 3 dates with girls just ussualy after that it ends.

[TheEvilJester]

I don't know if maybe I may be off on this, but I would think talking about wanting her to be your girlfriend within the first few dates could seem a little too fast. I don't think most people would be ready even to hear the word boyfriend or girlfriend that early.

I also could maybe be wrong here... but isn't going back to one or the other person's place usually sort of an unspoken hint that the intention is for that date to lead to sex? Again, not like I am any kind of expert at all, but I feel like that is a thing, isn't it? So, maybe that is part of the problem. You are saying that your idea of both the second and third date involve being back at her place. Maybe the women you've dated keep assuming that means you are expecting sex. For any who AREN'T ready, they may think you are moving too fast. For any that ARE ready, they may think you are leading them on, or may think you aren't fully interested in them. Or may lose patience because they keep thinking you are ready only to be let down when nothing happens.

Again, just speculation on my part, though. More so than just the basic facts of what the dates are, though, I think what is much more important is what happens during the dates. What you both say, what you both do, etc. Because, again, if you are making out, touching, cuddling, etc. and yet stop short at sex, that could also be very confusing to the other party. It didn't sound like you said that is what was happening on your dates, but I'm just offering it as an example.

Either way, you certainly shouldn't change yourself/compromise your values for anybody. But, it wouldn't hurt to examine your actions, your words, etc. to determine if there may be something you are doing to contribute to why things have not yet worked out for you.

But, again, I still don't feel it is likely 100% your fault. If you have been meeting women who you feel are ready for sex too soon, they probably weren't going to be the right match for you anyway. That doesn't necessarily mean you just keep doing what you are doing. It never hurts to take an honest look at yourself and decide if maybe there are things you could change to help yourself get better results while still feeling like you aren't compromising yourself and your beliefs in the process.

As always, I will continue to wish you good luck. You'll find that special somebody some day. It's just a matter of time.

[Hooo!]

Sorry I fixed it for you. I made a wrong assumption.

in plain text: in your dates you never seduce the woman in question and you would not like it if she seduces you if even or ever that was the case

And then you are not looking for female friends as in only being friends (as in being emotionally intimate)


And you wonder how it is that there never is a third date?

[omgtotallyxo]

Honestly, I'm in my early/mid 30's. I think finding love is pretty damn near impossible already. LOL! The biggest problem I've had lately is even if/when I WANT to.... there really isn't much opportunity these days for me to meet women who aren't already in a relationship. Work is honestly not the best place to meet people (for various reasons) but honestly... every time I've become aware of a new age appropriate female co-worker.... somehow it turns out she has a guy already anyway. Either I happen to see a ring, or I see pics of them together on her desk, or whatever the case may be. Somehow the always have somebody.

I don't really get out all that much. I don't drink and hate the bar scene anyway, so it isn't like I can meet women there. That's why, when I first got back into dating after my old relationship ended, I figured online dating was my best bet, but that was nothing more than a big joke and a complete waste of my time.

Omg, I have the same thoughts. I'm in my late 20s and its hard to find someone who isn't already married, engaged, or in a relationship. I think I'm quite a good catch but it's still hard to find people. I don't go out that much and don't like bars/clubs. I spent most of my time on my career, so I think that is why. I am thinking about online dating. Trust me, there are plenty of us in the same boat out there. Some of my friends feel the same way as well. I wish there is a place where all of us meet instead of hiding at home waiting for something to happen to us. lol

[pcmaster]

Of course Jester I know that wanting to girl be a GF after second date is too soon .

Yeah if you go to girls place then it ussualy ends with sex - in movies. In reality second girl knew that I was a virgin so we was just drinking tea, Im sure she didnt expect sex. Actually Im pretty sure none of them expected or actually wanted sex first time I visited them. I even been talking to my sisters friend and she said that guys sometimes stay a night at her place but sleep on sofa seperatly. This is girl who says that sex on a third date is optimal.

Omg, I have the same thoughts. I'm in my late 20s and its hard to find someone who isn't already married, engaged, or in a relationship. I think I'm quite a good catch but it's still hard to find people. I don't go out that much and don't like bars/clubs. I spent most of my time on my career, so I think that is why. I am thinking about online dating. Trust me, there are plenty of us in the same boat out there. Some of my friends feel the same way as well. I wish there is a place where all of us meet instead of hiding at home waiting for something to happen to us. lol

Nice, OMG, so you found Jester now. Sure if you sit at home Jester wont fall in your pussy. You need to at least invite him over.

[TheEvilJester]

Omg, I have the same thoughts. I'm in my late 20s and its hard to find someone who isn't already married, engaged, or in a relationship. I think I'm quite a good catch but it's still hard to find people. I don't go out that much and don't like bars/clubs. I spent most of my time on my career, so I think that is why. I am thinking about online dating. Trust me, there are plenty of us in the same boat out there. Some of my friends feel the same way as well. I wish there is a place where all of us meet instead of hiding at home waiting for something to happen to us. lol

I am not happy to hear you are having the same problems, but it does make me feel a little less alone to know hear your story. Your problems very much echo the same I have. These days, and at this time in my life, I'm just not really sure how to meet women. Especially because I'm just not really wired the way most guys are. To be perfectly honest, I don't really want to go somewhere specifically to meet women. That's why things like speed dating and that kind of thing never appeal to me. I just don't work the way most guys work in that way. I don't want to meet women with the idea in my mind being I want to find a date. I want to meet a woman I find interesting and AS RESULT OF MEETING HER decide I want to ask her out. I've never been the "numbers game" type of guy where I am okay with just asking out any women I can in hopes that at least one will say yes. I'm not even interested in asking a gal out until I have at least gotten to know her a bit. Which isn't to say I have to know her for YEARS before I'll ask her out or anything like that. LOL! I'm just saying I want to at least know them enough to be able to say "Hey... I find her interesting. I'd like to get to know her better." Not just "UNGH! She female human. Me man. Me pick her."

Anyways, seems a moot point to me these days. I've already met somebody pretty awesome. It's that weird jerk who is always looking at me through the mirror, metal spoons, puddles of water, and other reflective surfaces.

[omgtotallyxo]

Nice, OMG, so you found Jester now. Sure if you sit at home Jester wont fall in your pussy. You need to at least invite him over.

I think you are taking my comment the wrong way. *Roll eyes*

[lovebroken]

Lol, pcmaster and Jester's end of post made me laugh. Thanks, guys

Hope all without love in here, finds it.

[Hooo!]

If a woman invited a man over to her place and she knows he is interested in her
She will at least usually have considered that sex would be a possible outcome of the situation. (And I mean at least)

[pcmaster]

If so Hooo then guy have to be pretty good to make girl want sex when he first visits her. Cause if its been only first or second time they met then girl ussualy is not ready so it takes a lot of attraction or emotional momentum to progress so fast. If girl is turned on step by step then things might happen.

I like how this guy uses strategy to trick girls have sex with him on a first date -
https://youtu.be/-sFyF4kzJxg?t=10m20s

[TheEvilJester]

I don't really have a moment to watch the video, but I wouldn't personally take much stock in a person who describes it as "tricking" women into having sex with him on the first date. Nor, anybody who employs some kind of "strategy" to get women in bed. Why not just be honest? If you are looking for "just a hook up" be honest about that. May mean you'll have a harder time finding willing partners, but it would avoid so much drama from people who maybe thought you were looking for something more serious than you were. Or, if you are looking for something more serious, why not be honest about that too? Then you'd mostly avoid people who aren't.

Then again.... how silly of me to expect us to live in a world where people are just honest with each other. Such an alien concept.

FYI, none of that was specifically directed at you, PC. Just commenting in general.

[pcmaster]

Well its a video from Sasha daygame. And guy is pretty honest with girls and teaches it too - he tells girls what he wants from them and goes after them. So no one is being hurt. That guy was buying milk and then going to his place to put it in fridge. That so at his place he was escalating with girls. He said that he understood that if he sleeps with girls and then never calls back they freak out and are crushed because they think they will never meet such amazing guy again. So he started to do long term relationships.

Sure for us mature guys mating with girl on first date seems stupid but when you are younger and live day by then then living in present and thinking short term might really seem appealing a day where its possible to stick it in.

[Hooo!]

If a girl invites an unknown male as a date over to her place where you are alone together with a romantically background you can’t tell me she hasn’t thought about having sex with you.
That would be a very unlikely scenario.

Puas generally agree that it takes about 8 hours of personal comfort and connection building before you will have sex with a girl in a date setting.
For me this would ultimately be longer and the above is certainly not true for some teenagers
But for women who know what they want and who are grown up I’m pretty sure I’m spot on.

[pcmaster]

So yesterday was the hardest most dangerous day of my streak. (BTW this is my first streak.) I was looking up girls on FB. So I did find this group of big girls. Really my type so I browsed pictures and wanted to get hard. It was not easy cause my brain is rewired and those girls was in light clothes so not totaly naked. So when I did get hard I got really horny. Still didnt touch myself cause that habit is now gone. Really didnt know what to do with myself. I went in shower to cool down, turned cold water and it was helping, saved me, no urges after that.

Anyway how it even got to such point and how I allowed myself so much and went so far - did matched with some really hot girl on dating app. We chatted on new year eve and she told me her life story how her BF died month before marriage 3 years ago. Shes now in my FB friends. So I saw her posting this picture with her in a reveling top exposing her large round breasts. And commented on it that I wish she worked at my work, would have something to look at.

Then few days later I was working with another hot girl - was looking at her for years since we work in same second floor but never talked or said Hi. Now this week spend 8 hours working in team(duo) and talking too a bit. Still wanted to have sex with her right there and then besides accidentally touched her large breast. Besides that we laughed and its been long time since I really laughed with someone. It felt great. She laughed at the way I talk and I laughed at the way she laugh and then she laughed because I laughed.
But this great time was exactly the problem cause I liked her more than friend besides really lonely lately and want my heart to give a break from all the girls. Next day I decided dont talk to her like I always did cause didnt wanted to get carried away since she have a husband and its against my principles. Despite that boss wanted me to work again together with her but, I did other jobs like boss assistant wanted me to.
At the end of the night she looked at me with sad face.

Besides I have an friend who sometimes sends me dangerous vids - like normal vids but then unexpectedly scenes from porn happen there. Sometimes I dont watch them but sometimes take the risk. Last time took the risk and it ended with spider-man getting oral from a girl.

So all these triggers together and loneliness did played role. I understand that its a major setback and that I will have to keep my mind much cleaner to stay safe. Despite that I didnt fap and didnt orgasm, it scares me that I was so close to losing streak. Still lost some confidence. Dont want to end up like this guy -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coHn0xyeII0

I dont want to start with day 0 , day 3 and see small numbers again in my streak. It should be 3 digits always. Goal is to do year and then 500 days. Not necessary hard mode - PMO free but PM free for sure.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I be turning 29 years. No friends to celebrate with but still baking cake today with mom and perhaps will be going to bowling tomorrow alone, since its free to play in birthdays.

- - - Updated - - -

Update. Its my birthday today and got Happy birthday wishes from quite a lot girls that are firends on FB and from relatives.

253 days clean today too. Good time to be alive.

[Hooo!]

This is like posting that you went 254 days without a beer [URL=http://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=goodjob]#goodjob[/URL]

In my eyes it’s totally useless.
It’s not that you get blind or anything
But if this gets you the results you want then it’s good for you

To me this is as strange as it would if you told me that this was the fourhoundredandseventysixth day you went on a trampoline with a banana strapped to your forehead.