Longing to be loved 2

[pcmaster]

Well man I once lived more than 3 years without beer or any alcohol. Yeah no much difference but better not at all than too much. Thats the goal - stay in safe side. Its like live without getting your head hit slightly with hammer everyday. Better dont hit it at all than hit it no matter how often or rarely.

[Hooo!]

Well if I never left the house only ate rice and food additions drank filtered water and read books
Just to be safe

What would you tell me?

[pcmaster]

I think better stay safe than sorry. If guy never left the house and ate only rice and read books then theres a lot of world to discover and better discover it slowly and it will be better than for example someone who lived extreme life opposite to that peaceful one.

We talked about PMO what means - Porn masturbation orgasm. So if I did that for 20 years and now dont want to do it at all then thats better than if I never did it and never will do. But even more better would be I think to havent done it for all those 20 years and now starting discovering. I watched this video on youtube, think it was made by Vice if I recall corectly. 30 year old girl never masturbated and never had orgasm. Then she applied for paid program where trained people help to slowly over weeks lose virginity providing sex as well. She wasnt able to lose virginity because she wasnt attracted to guy but she did masturbated for first time and after that she didnt regret being virgin and was more confident that she can have a normal life.

Sure you cant compare sex with masturbation but I dont think that masturbation is good and I dont think that virginity is a disease. Just because I dont use every opportunity to have sex, dont mean that I plan to stay virgin for life. I see it as expensive several thousand worth bottle of wine - you dont have to open it with first girl you can or no later than on third date. You have to open it at all, dont take it with you in grave. But once opened it cant be closed so better be picky about the special occasion. 2 days ago I turned 29 I plan to orgasm with girl of my choice(havent chosen yet) before I turn 31.

BTW today I was tired at work after first half of day and then decided to work slowly. At the end of the shift talked with boss and he said he wants to pay me more but I have to work faster. I started to argue and then he asked if I have GF. I said no and then he said - then you will never have one because you dont make kids so slow as you work. That kinda sucks that he said that cause I still think sometimes about my failed relationships and about last girl asking myself - how could she dump me so easy?

[Hooo!]

No I totally disagree
It’s like not working because your sent found the perfect job yet

Also if you are not getting the results you want on a continuous level then Chance are high that thesollution is outside your comfort zone

I repeat: you can do whatever you want
But time this has so little to do with love or anything at all
Your whole attitude towards masturbationand sex seems to me very useless
Im not saying you are incorrect I’m just saying your belief doesn’t get you where youwabt to be and I personally think it’s a useless set of beliefs.
All it does is deluding yourself to be on the right track

[pcmaster]

How can not masturbating can be useless? How can you say alcoholic that hes non drinking is useless when he tries to quit?

Also its interesting why you think that not having sex have very little to do with love? Have you tried to wait 8 months(and not masturbating during this time) before having sex with someone?

[Hooo!]

Have you tried stripping a banana to your forehead for 8 month and then have sex with someone?
Of course I haven’t. Because I simply fail to see the point.
The main problematic in alcoholism is that you get damaged when you drink.
The main problem when you masturbate too often is that you won’t last long if you always skip porn parts and or your penis will get blisters if you exuberantly masturbate.
This is totally not comparable

[pcmaster]

Main problem of masturbation is that it damages relationships and porn cripples perception of girls and makes one look at girls like on objects. Anyway theres a lot other side effect like brain fog, low eneegy, low motivation, low sex drive, lack of interests, underdeveloped brain and weakened body, slowness.

Sure someone who quit masturbation can fall in depresion cause that energy have to be used. But overall people see improvments in all aspects after quiting. Masturbation is like drinking salt water it cant satisfy one and thats how it was for me before I quit.

[Hooo!]

So my relationshiphas Not been damaged
I think my views about women are pretty accurate
I certainly do not think women are objects and I don’t see how you come to those conclusions.
Regarding the other effects I challenge you to present me ONE scientific database for that

And even if most of that was true I still doubt This will hinder or improve your chances with women in anyway
Except that maybe not being delusional is an advantage

[pcmaster]

Well man you think it dont damages your relationship. Many guys dont understand what it does.
I challenge you to go full 90 days in a row without PM.

[Hooo!]

Lol
My relationship is fine
I have no problems
Not interested sry

[pcmaster]

Could be even better man. But you never know if you dont try.

[pcmaster]

UPDATE !!!

Epic first date ! So I went to another city yesterday night to meet a girl I used to message on tinder year ago and recently on badoo and FB once I found her again after all this time. Now this girl was open to chat with, was honest and understanding. Thats what stuck in my mind about her. Anyway we did message on and off for few days when I gave it a few days break to let her rest from my messaging. Then wrote to her on friday(yesterday) About what her plans are for weekend. She said to rest. Then I played it smart by telling good that she have plans like that cause I want to meet her today. Note that I played it manly and not passive like - dont you wanna meet? What would get me nowhere. Instead I said what I want and what I want from her. Straight forward, decisive and showing open interest. I know this helped cause later she said she ussualy dont agree to dates.

Now heres the pest part - how the date played out. Firstly she was indecisive and said she dont want to decide what to do cause she have to make decisions at work. I offered few options and places but she wanted to go to my town to look at ice sculptures(What is completly boring for me cause every year those sculpture festivals happen in my town and I was last year there too, besides it was cold today and have bad memories due to same problem last year) Anyway She was pretty much for it but I was against it so I won. We went to some coffee shop in center of city. To make date more intimate I wanted to sit next to her side by side. But she sat in a way that this was not possible and said me to sit in front of her(Ok this tip from a book failed). She wanted to eat too but when it came to paying the bill I played it by the book - went to till and payed while she dont see. Then when she asked if I paid for her too I said yes. Next I wanted go to movies and now she wanted to pay, but I said - You want to pay? You have nowhere to put your money to? We went to theater and while she was standing outside smoking, she attempted to pay with her phone despite that I was against it she said she have a discount for movies. Lucky her phone battery died in the cold that was outside. Now we went in and I paid for movie.

Cool movie it was(Maze Runner: The Death Cure) Now during the movie I held her hand and felt sexual tension for a moment. Time was tight. My last train home was near midnight but movie kept playing and 10 minutes before train(Cinema was pretty close by the train station) I said to her that I have train in 10 minutes. She said cool. I was seeing that movie was about to end. Then 5 minutes before I got unease and said I better go. But she said that Im already late for it. Well she knows city better since she lives there so I kept watching movie. Then we walked on city streets to her car and I said if she want she can drive me home if not that thats ok too I will just take taxi. She disagreed with taxi idea cause its pretty expensive to go so far but then I came up with another idea - I could stay the night at her place. She agreed but said that she have two rooms so we will sleep seperatly. I instantly disagreed and indirectly started to point towards sex, she smiled and then I said it would be just nicer and sweeter to sleep together in one bed. And glad I did so cause when arrived at her place she showed me her rooms and dayum ! I said it would be sin to sleep separate if she have so big bed.

Now we was sitting in her kitchen and she pulled out whiskey from a fridge and coke that she bought at the way home(we stopped at gas station) I said I dont drink but could drink coke. She pulled out beer afterwards and told me to drink it cause she will trow it out anyway. I rested and did stick with a coke but later tasted beer few sips and it was good but didnt wanted to drink so poured it out in a sink and told her I drank it. We both knew I lied. Now it was well after midnight, she talked a lot what was great, she was big on music cause she talked about songs like it was her life, she finished another glass of whiskey and coke, clock was approaching 3 AM when I repeatedly said lets go to sleep. She smiled and looked kinda shy and happy.

Dont remember how it went there but I asked her have she been cutting herself. She said she have a little but didnt got carried away with it. She said that it shows that people dont love themselves a lot and it make them feel better to cut themselves. I remembered one old friend on FB who used to cut herself. So I said - "there was one girl who used to cut herself, she was about 18, hard." I looked sad when I said that. Now she looked sad and kinda hurt and left kitchen. Guess my mistake was that I talked about other girl not her. Next think I remember we was in her room and she put on this Latvian song song with strong lyrics- Girl singing: "I tried to save you" Guy singing: "No need to save me, its impossible to save me" While song was playing she left the room and came back at next song.

We undressed, she left her T shirt on and we get in huge bed under blanked. I put my arm on her belly but she was on her back, then said - I dont sleep like that, I sleep like that, she turned on side facing me and put her knee where my package was in my underwear. I started to get hard but, didnt wanted to get too excited to not to ruin sleep so turned away. Soon after she feel asleep and started to snoore lightly. For me it wasnt so easy cause I wasnt used to new place and surroundings. Wanted to put my arm around her but ddint wanted to wake her up since it wouldnt be waking up for sex but just for this little thing. Late but at some point I fell asleep and woke up after few hours around 7 am. Was unsure when to wake up and go away so stayed till 8am and then asked if she sleeps, she woke up and started to talk slowly. Now I put my arm around her and she talked more. I got up dress up and drink some water. Good thing that I did ate well at my home cause she didnt offer any food, just drinks. In the moorning I pulled out my chocolate from pocked thats made from cows blood and sugar and ate it at kitchen. She asked - what are you eating? I said - hemotogene. She - Yuck its made from cows blood, I used to eat it too before I knew. Shes a vegetarian by the way.

I wanted and hoped that she will give me ride to train station but instead she told me that theres a bus stop at her house and bus goes to train station. Asked will she get up to escort me to the door. She said she want to sleep - (all this time she was in bed) But she stood up and I gave her a kiss but she turned her cheek, so it was on cheek. I said - "stop joking, we slept all night together, cant even give a kiss. ". Kissed her again but on lips this time. Before going out at the door I wanted to give her another kiss and did it.

In train I wrote to her - "This world seems more positive this moorning because now I know that there lives such girl like you.
I know that many lifes have become better because you are or was in them."

This was how I felt about her.

[pcmaster]

So what you think about it [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] and [MENTION=85121]Hooo![/MENTION] Im ready for your criticism about previous post.

So just came back from a second date. Past repeats itself(reference from last year second girl, second date). Same event, girl and her friends, holding hands, freezing hands, second time meeting girl. Girl came with her car, offered me a ride home. These things same as last year.

What was different that perhaps Im getting less sensitive over the years. Not just age but also experience affect it I think. This time didnt had enjoyed holding hands so much but it was still was nice, enjoyable and didnt said to girl afterwards that I want her to be my GF lol. Maybe getting smarter. Was more confident about kissing too. Guess it comes from experience.

Anyway its pretty amazing that there was second date cause we are really different and shes from another city. So far it didnt went past first date with girls from other city. But this time I actually gave a shit, wasn't all confident and arrogant.
Just enjoying sweet moments while they last, letting future be unthink of. Will try not let past dictate(50 shades of gray song reference).

[Hooo!]

I think it will go downhill from here unless she is really interested

[TheEvilJester]

I mean, isn't that kind of the case with any new relationship? If the person isn't really interested, obviously it will go downhill.

Honestly, right now I don't think what anybody else thinks exactly matters. Particularly as it relates to your first date. It already happened. So, we can't exactly give you useful advice for something that already happened. You mention you two had a second date, so that is at least a good start. Most people wouldn't actually commit to a second date if they weren't interested.

Beyond that, everything you've shared sounds kind of promising. She was reluctant at first for certain things (like you sleeping over or kissing her after the first date) but eventually seemed fine with it. As long as her changing her mind came casually enough (as in it isn't like you had to push TOO much to get her to change her mind) then that is also a pretty good sign. If she wasn't interested in you, I really don't think she'd kiss you or have let you sleep over.

But, again, in a situation like this there is just way too much intangibles that we can't really know. You are much closer to the situation, so you will be able to be a better judge of whether she seems genuinely interested, or whether she may just be going through the motions. You would be a better judge of whether you may be too pushy, not pushy enough, or just right. It is hard for us to say things like this for sure without actually being witnesses to your interactions.

For now, just enjoy it and let the relationship sort of naturally decide where it is going. That doesn't mean you wait around just expecting the world to tell you what to do. You do need to decide what you want and continue to move in that direction. I'm just saying, don't worry so much about what you should be doing or how fast things should be going. Things like that. Just do what seems right. You should hopefully be able to get a sense for what things seem to go well and what, if any, do not.

Good luck to you! Hopefully it continues to go well.