Inexperienced guy needing help

[Iwey]

Hey everyone, first of all thanks for reading all this (I really don't know yet how long that thing will be but whatever), also I'd like to let you know that I'm French so if you need me to reformulate anything don't hesitate to tell me, now let me introduce the situation

So, I'm really bad with girls. I mean I've just had a single girlfriend in my whole life and I couldn't manage to have feelings for her, even if I tried to hang out, stuff that every couple normally does.

2 Months ago I entered college, where I met a girl that was in my class, I got her phone number somehow and we spoke about anything and everything to know each other. Everything was going pretty well and I was probably over-happy about it. Every time we had a class together she always came up to me and sat next to me (or the opposite), but well that is friendship and I can't call that a sign of interest right ? Some days ago (maybe a week) we had a class together, she arrived first so she sat, keeping a sit next to her for me. However a guy came a took it, they've been laughing all hour long so I thought "man you should stop there" but I wasn't exactly in this mood. So I sent her a text to ask her if the guy she had been next to actually interested her. She explained what I said before, and also told me she wasn't interested at all in that guy, he was just a friend, I was feeling a bit relieved honestly. Also, she added that "it would have been better to be next to each other". That is when I started to think she liked me or was interested in me or whatever.

Tuesday I asked her if she would like going to watch a movie at a cinema with me after our midterm exams, she accepted and she seemed really glad I asked something like that. So yesterday we went to watch a movie (yeah Wednesday night, I know it sucks but she's going to her home today as we have 1 week vacation this Friday, so I didn't really have a choice there).

At the cinema, our arms were always touching but I guess she didn't pay attention to it, I don't know if I can call that a sign of interest honestly. When we arrived at her home, I asked her out but she turned me down, saying she has had problems with her ex-boyfriend when she entered college and she didn't want it to happen again. When I came home I sent her a text to apologize, and she told me that she knows I'm not anything like her ex-boyfriend and that she wanted to keep talking with me like we usually do (we sometimes speak for like 2 hours outside about everything and anything), that she really enjoys doing it, that she knew something like what happened with her ex would happen with me. I replied that I didn't want to be in a cold with her because of the stupid move I made and she was completely fine with that.

However when we saw each other in the first class this morning we didn't even speak together, I just told her "hi" while she was sitting next to one of her friends, in the second class she didn't come to sit next to me. Well I guess this is because of when I asked her out, she must have been feeling troubled, I totally understand, whether if there actually is a cold between the both of us or not.

So, I feel like I went a bit too fast with her and I shouldn't have asked her out yesterday, I know I ****ed up on that part but I really wanted to try because I felt like she was interested, that was probably not the case. Now I'd like to know what you guys think I missed and if you think she's interested. Thanks for reading and tell me if you need extra details

[richiro]

Every time we had a class together she always came up to me and sat next to me (or the opposite), but well that is friendship and I can't call that a sign of interest right ?

Anytime somebody is initiating with you - that's a sign of interest. That she is consistently initiating the fact of sitting near or next to you IS a sign of interest!!

Some days ago (maybe a week) we had a class together, she arrived first so she sat, keeping a sit next to her for me.

Since she is initiating the fact of saving a seat next to her just for your - that is a sign of interest.

Also, she added that "it would have been better to be next to each other". That is when I started to think she liked me or was interested in me or whatever.

Notice how she keeps initiating extra things with you without having to be asked or prompted (aka sitting next to you, saving you a seat next to her, mentioning she would rather you sat next to her...) - those are all things she is initiating which means she's interested in you.

At the cinema, our arms were always touching but I guess she didn't pay attention to it, I don't know if I can call that a sign of interest honestly.

She noticed. That she allowed it to continue and didn't pull away is a sign of interest.

However when we saw each other in the first class this morning we didn't even speak together, I just told her "hi" while she was sitting next to one of her friends, in the second class she didn't come to sit next to me. Well I guess this is because of when I asked her out, she must have been feeling troubled, I totally understand, whether if there actually is a cold between the both of us or not.

oh man.. so sorry to hear this. obviously she has stopped initiating now so it means she is no longer interested. There could be a million "why" but it really doens't matter. she is no longer interested.

What happened? A million things could have happened. But again it doesn't matter which one.
1. She was intersted, and you actually went too slow, so she fell out of interest. This is what happens MOST of the time with interested females and shy men who end up being too cautious and "just can't believe she's interested in me". Fear, lack of confidence, hesitation- are the biggest turn offs for females. So next time dont doubt... if they are initiating, initiate back to keep it elevating to the next level.

2. She was never interseted.. but was doing this for some reason Unfortunately, this is something females do A LOT. And almost always, it's because they haev a guy (usually a boyfriend or an ex-) that they're not over yet and want back. So the best way to get their attention back and make them want them back, is to appear like somebody else likes them and they like them back. (NOTICE... how much did you notice that other guy talking to her in that class and how worked up you got over it!!). Unfortunately, some girls do this on purpose to light a fire under a guy to behave, come back, treat her better, show her more interest. It's very possible in this case she wanted it to appear something was developing between yo utwo to get her ex- back.. and then her "ex-bf" exucse to you was to turn you away and make you stop b/c her ex- was back in the picture.

Unfortuatnely this is the [URL=http://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] most likely scenario in these things.

[janelove121]

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