Help! I don't know what he's thinking and I am confused.

[whlam66]

Hi everyone. Thank you for clicking in and trying to give me advice.

So I met a guy online and we hung out for a couple of times which were really great. He's actually doing an internship in my country for his business school so he will leave after 6 months. We both agreed that we shouldn't get feelings for each other because he just broke up with his 4-years girlfriend before he came here and he will leave at the end of the day. BUT, we continue to hang out with each other and later on we sorta become like a hook up buddy for each other. We both know that ever since then, we are exclusive to each other IN BED. I always stayed overnight in his house where he's currently sharing a flat with his cousin. So basically I met his cousin and we three even hung out for twice.

And then one time, he ignored my texts for like 2 days and I was quite mad at him. Then he explained that his ex gf texted him and asked him if he's alright (because his gf was the one who said break up as she didn't want a LDR). He said he wanted to be alone for a bit but then he didn't want to lose me on the other hand.

After that, I know I do have feelings for him even tho it's not very strong but I know I do. Whenever we hung out, we did things like a couple would do: watching movies, hiking, eating out, even going to the museums together. We wouldn't always have sex right after we hung out. We just simply hung out like a normal date. 2 months later, he told me he wanted to stay here and work here so he would apply for an exchange program to different universities here. Things went well after that until a few days ago, he just suddenly stopped responding and ignored my texts. A day later, he told me he has to leave next month and he told me the date of when he will leave. I felt sad for him and I tried to comfort him. But he just ignored my latest texts. Since then, I haven't seen him online on all the social medias. I know he did not block me or something like that but it seems like he deleted everything.

What should I do? I know we won't end up well but I don't want to be this bad. Should I try calling him as I never tried phoning him. I just honestly want to continue our more-than-friends friendship even though he will leave eventually. I don't mind that we are not a couple because I actually enjoy what we have. I feel comfortable and I ain't stressed about our relationship but what he is doing to me now hurts me. Pleas tell me what I should do. Leave it as it is or look for him?

[Snow White]

He made it clear to you in the beginning about what he wanted from this relationship. Of course it's easy to agree to turning off the emotions, but I don't think it is something that is realistic especially for a woman. If you are going out on dates and having sex and enjoying each others company, it's bound to happen.

"I don't mind that we are not a couple because I actually enjoy what we have. I feel comfortable and I ain't stressed about our relationship but what he is doing to me now hurts me. Pleas tell me what I should do. Leave it as it is or look for him?" I don't believe you, but if that's truly how you feel, just leave him alone. It seems like that is what he wants. If he wants you, he knows where to find you.

[Hooo!]

Things evolve and change
Maybe he still doesn’t want maybe he does now and is afraid to tell

But I suggest discussing this with him

If you are worried: GO!
If you think he just needs some time for himself: respect that.

[whlam66]

I honestly don't think he wants a relationship with me unless he can stay here for a long run. Neither do I as I am not ready to be in an official relationship. Yet is it stupid to tell him how I feel at the moment and what I want coz I know I don't want to lose him. Being ale to talk to him through texts again is already enough for me.

[Hooo!]

The decision is yours to make
It is your responsibility

[whlam66]

The decision is yours to make
It is your responsibility

So thanks for your advice coz I sent him a text yesterday and he responded. But I don't get what he means.

I basically said that I understand I am only his hook up buddy for fun and there's no more than that
but I hope we would still be friends once he is gone as I think we could be good friends, etc etc. I would still hope to meet him once before he leaves.

He then told me that maybe we could meet up but right now he doesn't feel like it and he said the reason why he didn't reply me is that "it's more that I was thinking about something else."

Honestly, I don't get what he means by saying this and I asked him if he is afraid that I will get attached to him so he didn't reply but then he read it, not responding again.

I am interpreting two meanings of the sentence: I feel like we are more than just hook up buddies and I don't want that so I didn't reply OR It is more than just hooking up and he was thinking about "us". I wanna know what he means and I know guessing around here doesn't lead the accurate answer but I hope you guys can give some advice to me.

I am so thankful that Hooo suggested that I should discuss it with him. Even though I may not get what I want but the moment I told him about this made me feel so much better and I am relieved now. I don't always think about him as well which is a good sign.

[Hooo!]

If you don’t only want to be friends
Don’t suggest it

Meet up with him and really talk
I mean tell him what you really want and feel
Or ask him first what he really wanted and feels regarding your relationship

[Noah]

"I just honestly want to continue our more-than-friends friendship even though he will leave eventually. I don't mind that we are not a couple because I actually enjoy what we have. I feel comfortable and I ain't stressed about our relationship but what he is doing to me now hurts me."

If it's true, then maybe it's worth it to say. There is nothing stronger and more effective than sincere words. I can not imagine a guy who would not be impressed.