Ex Kissed Me
Me and my ex fiancé broke up a month ago. We were together for 4 years, engaged 3 years and lived together for over 3 years. We have a 2 year old daughter, we're in our 30's. We fought a lot the last 2 years and the last few months he would ask me "when are you moving out?" during every fight. So I moved out. This was 4 months ago, we tried a "trial separation" but it didn't work - I friended an ex on facebook out of spite from seeing all these new woman appear on his facebook. He changed his status to single a while ago but we officially called it quits a month ago - because I friended my ex. I regretted doing that and deleted that person the next day, it was stupid to add him in the first place. But, he ended up adding a woman that he had feelings for in the past - a woman who emailed him in 2016, in which he responded. She was telling him how much his love meant to her, she was married to an abusive man and I guess my ex was someone she confided in so he says that's why she emailed him. He's deleted my family and all pictures.
Anyways, a couple weeks ago I decided I needed to fully move on from him when I saw that he "loved" a new picture of hers on facebook. I deleted photos of us on social media immediately, it was time to let go. He started calling me the next day, and ignored all his calls and texts. I only answered one to tell him that if it doesn't have to do with our daughter then I don't want to talk to him. He kept demanding that I tell him why I'm not talking to him and not telling him what happened. He called me day and night, over 30 times, over the next 3 days. I finally answered and told him that I saw that he connected with her on facebook and that seeing him love her picture hurt me. I told him again that I didn't want to speak with him anymore unless it had to do with our daughter. He said he would stop bugging me since I told him. A few minutes after we hung up he text me to tell me "thank you and tom for reconnecting me with my love". Tom being the ex of mine I friended and his "love" being that woman. I never responded. For 2 weeks we had no contact with eachother and I was feeling better. It was really helping me move past everything. Then, last Friday I dropped off my daughter and he tried to hug me, I backed away. I said goodbye to my daughter and left. Saturday I facetimed with her. He texted me afterwards to tell me "you looked good" "on the facetime". I didn't respond. The next day, last Sunday, he dropped off my daughter and tried to hug me again. I reciprocated this time and hugged back. He kissed my neck and my forehead. I caved. He started kissing me passionately, starting touching me - groping etc. He told me he'll always love me. I cried and told him I was sorry. He brushed my hair and kissed my forehead a few more times. We held eachother by the door for a while, then he left. He texted me a few times the next couple days. I responded but was a little short. I was still trying to protect myself because I didn't know why he kissed me. He never said he wanted to work on things, never even implied it. So I was really confused. I asked him last Tuesday when I dropped off my daughter about the kiss. He played coy "what kiss, what do you mean". Eventually he said "well you squashed that by ignoring me again". We talked a couple more minutes then he hugged me again, kissed me again. Touched me again. I said goodbye to my daughter and left. He texted me a few times throughout the week about our daughter. Yesterday he texted me to tell me I should watch "I am Sam" because it's sad, about love for a child. Then another couple texts, "I see your ignoring me again" "why can't you be an adult, it's pathetic". I didn't see the texts for a couple hours so I responded that we were putting up our tree, not ignoring him. We texted a few more times, he called me to talk about splitting thanksgiving time with our daughter. He went out with friends last night, in his hometown that the woman I mentioned lives in. He was supposed to pick up our daughter today but cancelled because he has to work early in the AM. I hope he's not blowing her off for another woman.
I don't know if he's dating, I'm sure he's entertaining conversations with women on facebook though. My question is - was he attempting to reconnect with me or just looking for sex? I love him, but I need all or nothing - I don't want to get hurt again so I admit I was still being short with him after the kiss. Did I ruin it if he was trying to reconnect? Should I reach out to him or leave it be?