Broken in many ways, how to mend

[MortensOrchid]

In the last few years, I have been broken in many different ways other than in the love area. My love life has been sterile / non existent. I have given up on OLD once and for all because it's just a product that has the same result over and over again: Meet someone in a bar, restaurant, coffee shop, etc. and they're somewhat decent, then you text once or twice when you part ways and then you never hear from them again. I'm done with that. Life is too short to be doing that over and over again, I only just recently realized this. I lead a very isolated life as a multi district substitute teacher and attempting to get a better second job as the job coaching didn't pan out as well as I thought it would. I NEVER meet anyone, I'm going to be 43 in a few weeks and I still look very good for a woman my age.

I think if a person were to meet me, I might come off as being kind of reserved and not friendly when you first meet me. I don't smile much, people tell me to give out more smiles because cute girls who give out cute smiles get positive reactions from others. I've also seen the cute girls who give out cute smiles because they get the things they want from people, which I do not like. Some of my guy friends tell me I need to snow more skin in the summer (think tank tops) but I don't. I dress like a guy in the summer (shorts and a T shirt). I've had women in the past tell me that they don't like bringing me to parties or to introduce them to others because they feel that I am taking opportunity away from them - and if they feel that way then they're not genuine people to begin with. I've had people tell me to hold my head high and be proud of all that I have accomplished. When this guy broke up with me he also told me that because he was capable of attracting someone as good as me he can't wait to see the even better woman who he can now attract, then rebounds and marries a trashy ho barely a year later who took him to the cleaners and ran off with her lover. I was told by one of my karate sensais that I have talent and I am an entitled snob who thinks that I am something that I am not. I dropped out of the class and he wrote me an email saying he hoped I would come back. My only answer is to hide from others, feel that I can't trust anyone truly, or that I am not that worthy of anything. Everyone is so critical these days, just don't say a word to anyone anymore.

So my question here is, with all these things happening, how does one have confidence / self esteem at all? People tell you you're weird or odd after a long time, you start believing it. And you start feeling as if you are s*** and really, really, really not worthy of being any of those things no matter how hard you try. Suggestions?

[riccabutler]

Stop thinking what others think about you. Don't live nor relay on someone else opinion just to have you self esteem up. Just take good care of your self. Always wear smart clothes. Search on ways on how can you make your self more handsome. Sometimes having too much of self confidence leads you too better path.

[rjkennedy]

Interesting story from a 43 year old woman with a serious case of low self confidence, and no direction regarding her love life. A concrete connection is needed in establishing a sound relationship along with boosting your self esteem.

Mortens, I've said before that No ONE can establish a successful love life without self confidence. But one thing you have to remember is that you can't feel good about others until you feel good about yourself. Don't worry about any other girls and how they act, or what they do; just think about yourself.

I don't know how you look as far as physical appearance goes, but a complete makeover may be in order. You mention about not smiling. Do you have nice teeth?(It wouldn't hurt, and will build up your self esteem and confidence). But what will help you the most is information from my website.

I have many articles on dating, love and relationship (along with helpful products you'll love). It's a fun site, but touches on serious issues. My url is in my signature below. Keep in touch and let me know how it goes. Good luck!