Broken up, agree to be friends and go on meet ups in future but not officially dating

[jaysee]

Hi,

So me and my girlfriend of 11 months just broke up. We broke up over 3 main reasons;

1) She didn't like when I got angry I would ignore/shut people off

2) Miscommunication to a particular situation that caused us to break up

3) Relationship Immaturity on both parties.

Without going into heavy detail, we gave each other a 2 week break and we met up recently to check how we are going. Right now, we agree that our old relationship died and were both being mature about it because we both talked that this break was good because it made us realise the mistakes we both made and that at the time, we did not communicate our feelings properly which caused us to split. Whilst meeting, we agreed that we can't push each other out of our lives fully and that somehow we kept telling each other, the Door is always open for us to get back together and IF we were to go back together, we want to make it right and make things happen naturally.

She also mentioned that she's glad we can talk and be civil and that in the future we should start hanging out, go to lunch/dinner at places and one thing in particular she wants to go beach.

I'm scared for myself that if we go do these things I won't properly move on but I'm on the fence because what if our attraction by texting and meeting up builds again and we decide to give it another try. I wouldn't want to lose out on that opportunity because I know deep down we care for each other and still love each other enough that we don't wanna completely shut each other out of each other's lives but at the same time we understand the door is not closed but there are no promises.


Anyone's help is greatly appreciate.

[rjkennedy]

Jaysee my friend. You should understand that no relationship is perfect, things happen. Everyone is their own person and we all need our space. It's good you made that 2 week break.This gave y'all the chance to both realized what went wrong. It's also great that during your meetups, you were able to talk civilized with level heads and point out the issues.

My recommendation: Follow your gut feelings. If you feel the time is right and she feels the same way, then 'go for it.' Everything else should fall right into place.

[bunnyhabit]

it sounds like both of you have thought through your relationship down fall reasons during your time out period. the fact you now talk so easily and honestly shows the potential for a reconnection is quite possible. also seems you did not go after a new relationship because your still in love.

i would go slow but try to rekindle your relationship with your new understanding of the causes of your problems. if you return to fighting and stress experienced before then you should break up forever and move on to new relationships.

her ideas about hanging out and socializing from time to time seems appropriate to test whether a reconnect is possible in the future.

unless you have someone new in process i see no loss to you attempting her suggestions.