4 months in and no date..

[zoe5423]

Hiya guys,

Just looking for some help. Met this guy through a friend at work. We ended up chatting for about a month, he went through a slightly tougher time, i stuck by him, i ended up volunteering to come up to his to talk etc. We had a few drinks, found out we had loads in common etc etc., we've done a few things but he's not very interested in sex...so, i know hes not using me for that basically...

After that, i would go up every week or so. He never asked if i wanted to go out anywhere. He also never asked if i would like him up at my house or to meet me in town etc...he used to say we would go for a coffee or cinema but the next day he'd just fail to mention it again

We speak everyday but it's got to the point where he doesnt text very much or it's short answers and he barely ever asks how i am or what im doing, its all about him, when he phones me and if i talk about myself, he seems to kind of hurry me along and go "yeah" quickly and switch the subject to himself.

Ive called it a day several times, he knows im fed up and i told him it was pointless and now hes saying he "wont give up on me"...im currently on antidepressants because of a low mood ive had for about 13 years now but i dont like the fact that hes making out that i am the issue. He told me he dated a girl before, took her to loads of places, did loads with her but she ended up leaving him and he wasnt that bothered because he didnt like her that much anyway...doesnt look good for me then!

He's not necessarily a bad guy but i am not getting taken out anywhere, he always talks about himself and he doesnt make an effort to see me, he wants me to do the running..i have not been to see him in over 2 months now, we did nothing for halloween, fireworks or christmas

I noticed he was on and off a dating site as well, logging on every week or so which has since stopped but i have now put myself back on it

What do i do? He's a few years older than me, i dont know whether to try or just leave him to it? He keeps saying he hasnt felt this way about anyone before but in all honesty, i dont think he really cares about me...his actions dont add up with what hes saying...

I was with someone similar before who did this but it turned out he was embarrassed of me as i was a heavy girl at the time, i have since lost all the weight and i am slim so i dont think its that...this guy says im out of his league but i get treated like i dont matter?

I dont need money spent on me, thats not what im about, i just want to spend time with him or see some effort being made on his part, my ex did a lot in regards to seeing me so i know this isnt right...he goes through stages where for about 4 days up to a week, i get no texts/phone calls etc from him, he doesnt read my messages and that is what has made me get rid of him everytime but he told me the other day that he may be silent in the future again...i have NO IDEA why he does that though?

thoughts?

[Sebasklolk]

Generaly reading this I think he’s not into you.. but like you said about his earlier relationship where he did almost everything and it didn’t work out, maybe he’s just hurt in that way, maybe he doesn’t take you out because someone earlier hurt him in that way.

I would just sit down with him and say how you feel about it. Something like you said here. ‘Cause maybe if he knows you would like that he would go somewhere with you he will think differently.

I don’t now if he’s shy or silent but I would just talk to him. Privately and quitely.

Best of luck, I hope I helped.


-Sebas

[Hooo!]

I think this is a very interesting post!
All you want is a man who is really genuinely interested in you person.

Guys are you listening. She doesn’t want to hear about how great you are or whatever

All she needs for going out to coffe and their home place after is
Persistence and genuine interest in who she is.

The guy in question would surely like to ****
But he is insecure not wanting to mention a meeting too often (he just did it once like a guy would do with another guy) and leaves it at that
And worst of him all: he doesn’t care about her emotions and her needs
He wants his needs met. In his world he is only thinking about his emotions his state his values...

This is a schoolbook example of how not to do it.

To the woman in question: he will sleep with you if you want. Just invite him to your place for some Netflix and chill

Don’t expect him however to be interested in who you are or to develop this interest. He doesn’t need to do it and so he will very most likely not.
He is egocentered. He would like to have you, yes: at the lowest price and quickest route and not you as a person but you as a female