Confused Help Needed

[Vicky1992]

I really need answers , my story goes like this
I have been in a relationship for 10years since age 15 ....no sex till I became 18 ( so don’t judge me) .he was my first .5yrs into the relationship he begins to cheat, I find out , he apologize I forgive and never forget
Then I began to cheat as well without getting caught because of the hate I feel for loving whole and feeling heart broken, fast forward to 2015 I decided to fully commit no cheating year but only to realize he still cheats.early this year I met someone earns less than I do , I was swept off my feet I fell in love or lust , my boyfriend found out and broke up with me. I apologized and he forgave me and has been very nice to me totally different better than before. Fast forward to 6months later I met this colleague of mine we don’t work together he works at d HQ different department we began talking I didn’t disclose I had a bf ...he asked me out I refused but. Later we began having sex like frequently he tells me how much he loves me but I try to bluff discussions because I know am doing something wrong
Now am in a dilemma I love my boyfriend because he is a great guy kind Good calm warm and I think am in Love with this my colleague as well because he is smart , nice and also a great guy but I know what I am doing is wrong to the both guys I need your help and advice on a decision I need to let one of them go and enter the new year with a good attitude and be faithful I don’t like being a cheat I am tired of the lies and deceit

[Hooo!]

If you are tired of cheating and deceit how about being honest for one?