Am in love with two men I don’t know which one to pick

[Vicky1992]

Help Needed
I really need answers , my story goes like this
I have been in a relationship for 10years since age 15 ....no sex till I became 18 ( so don’t judge me) .he was my first .5yrs into the relationship he begins to cheat, I find out , he apologize I forgive and never forget
Then I began to cheat as well without getting caught because of the hate I feel for loving whole and feeling heart broken, fast forward to 2015 I decided to fully commit no cheating year but only to realize he still cheats.early this year I met someone earns less than I do , I was swept off my feet I fell in love or lust , my boyfriend found out and broke up with me. I apologized and he forgave me and has been very nice to me totally different better than before. Fast forward to 6months later I met this colleague of mine we don’t work together he works at d HQ different department we began talking I didn’t disclose I had a bf ...he asked me out I refused but. Later we began having sex like frequently he tells me how much he loves me but I try to bluff discussions because I know am doing something wrong
Now am in a dilemma I love my boyfriend because he is a great guy kind Good calm warm and I think am in Love with this my colleague as well because he is smart , nice and also a great guy but I know what I am doing is wrong to the both guys I need your help and advice on a decision I need to let one of them go and enter the new year with a good attitude and be faithful I don’t like being a cheat I am tired of the lies and deceit.
I need to make a choice fast but am confused

[violete]

You are in a serious relationship from a very young age, he was your first in everything, love and sex. And I believey, you were wondering what else was out there, which is only natural. You both have/are cheating, now you thing you love this other guy and don't know who to choose.
You said it yourself, your boyfriend cheated on you, you forgave him, but never forgot it. And you never will. And after that, if you kept on cheating, why are you even together anymore? you both cheat, which means you are in one (sexual) or many ways unsatisfied with the relationship. sO why continue it? So you will spend your whole life cheating, hiding ans resenting the other person, who you should respect and be loyal to?
I believe you should dump both of them. With this other guy, it is just lust and it will also fade. I doubt you have spent so muyh time with him that you know him and know you could be with him. You just like what he is offering you in this situation, would he offer you what you expect in life? You don't know and I believe since you are so confused and do not know what to do, who to choose..choose yourself!

Be on your own for a while, get to know you and then you will discover what kind of person you need in life to be your partner. You are still young and you entered into commitment very soon. Now it is maybe time to focus on yourself.

[CantMoveOn]

I don't think you love your bf in a traditional sense because you would not be repeatedly cheating on him and not care about doing it over and over and same for him since he also cheats on you. Since you both cheat on each other and continue to do so I think you are not right for one another and maybe would be best to go different ways and start fresh with other people.