Addiction to Affection

[Tone]

Sorry if I missed it, but the other times you tried to take things to the next level with her, how did she respond? The typical "our friendship is more important" response?

[shh!]

I think that increasing your contact with her will only serve to amplify your feelings for her. Maybe she can serve as a model for the kind of girl you want to connect with eventually, as my guess is that she sees you in a more "brotherly love" kind-of-way. Unrequited love is the most bitter pill to swallow, so protect yourself by continuing to limit your contact. The rest is just a numbers game - you meet/date enough girls, one is sure to fit the profile. This girl may eventually begin to see you in a different light, but you certainly shouldn't wait around for that to happen. I wish I could be more helpful...

About your poetry - I don't want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with; I am merely curious. Since you can't force creativity, I guess I will wait until you are either inspired to write or change your mind about passing something along...
:-)

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Tone: She reacted positively and it didn't affect our relationship at all. But yes, she did give me the "I don't want to risk our friendship" line. She was tactful about it and I appreciate how she went about conveying it to me.

Shh!: Yeah, I'm not really looking forward to seeing her more often as that intimate contact is what usually leads to the rousting of my old feelings. To be completely honest I don't find her being the most attractive girl I've cared for as far as her personality and physically as well. There have been more ideal girls that I've dated. She just returns that affection to the nth degree and I think that's what stirs up the emotional sentiment.

I haven't written in a while so I'm sure I can come up with something. It's the fall now, inspiration abounds.

[whaywardj]

How about that? Ain't that great? A guy who gets turned on by emotional connections...and says so. I LOVE it! Really.

[Tone]

Hmm, well (sorry again if I missed this) but do you know what you want from her? Are you okay with just being nothing more than REAL close friends? Or do you want to try to get her to see you in another light? (i.e. boyfriend material)

The reason I ask is cause I was in a similair situation with my last relationship. We were best friends for a couple years, we were real close, everyone thought we were dating from the way we acted, etc etc and I always wanted to take it to the next level, but the whole "afraid our friendship would get ruined" thing played in. She was really persistant (thankfully) and eventually I decided that on one hand, sure I could have this really great friendship forever, but always in the back of my mind wonder what we could have if we took things further... or we could risk it all by giving "us" a try. I decided true love was worth the risk. We were together for 3 years, split, and well, here we are - still good friends. I talk to her pretty much everyday and we go out to lunch several times per week. This all came at a price (to me) of course... but I suppose it "can" work out to be friends, date, and if things don't work out, go back to being friends. It's not easy, but if you're strong enough I think you can make it work.

Depending on how you feel, I think it's worth it to try, fail, seperate, and know, than to be friends forever and always have that thought in the back of your mind of "What if... what could be...".

Just my opinion, sorry for the essay. ;p

[Mish]

How about that? Ain't that great? A guy who gets turned on by emotional connections...and says so. I LOVE it! Really.

Contrary to popular belief we are actually high in numbers

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Thanks Tone. I really think if we took a shot at dating it would be amazing for a time then come apart yet still be able to maintain our friendship. So while I'm almost positive that it wouldn't last forever, if nothing else it'd allow me to forget about her. But oh well, if that happens it happens. I think it is wise how others have been saying to not get too close for now. It sounds like seeing her sparingly is the way to go for the moment. Any more advice is always appreciated but I've gotten lots of help so far from everyone. Thanks bunches.

[Tone]

I really think if we took a shot at dating it would be amazing for a time then come apart yet still be able to maintain our friendship.

You should tell her this.

See what she says.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I essentially have but then she gets skeptical and doesn't see the point of even having that amazing time if it isn't gonna last. Even though all these guys she dates don't last either but that doesn't stop her from dating them.