Gutted

[Sugarbabe72]

Hi, I really need some advice . I was with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. Im 32(female) and he is 22(male). Yep I know big age gap, however that never really bothered us. We only just recently broke up about a week and a half ago. Throughout our relationship we had alot of fights, in hindsight over silly things really, but I would get all worked up and tell him to leave. He adored me, told me every day he loved me and told me how beautiful i was etc, and i believed every word he said. However silly me took advantage of his love, and didnt treat him very well, and the last fight we had, I told him to leave again....and this time he did. Deep down i was dying, because I didnt want him to go, but I knew I had pushed him too far. He left, he cried and I cried. Since then I have sms'd him, telling him what we had is worth fighting for and can we meet up to talk, and his respsonse is " i cant, its too hard for me at the moment" . I also tried to call him the other night and he didnt pick up, then messaged me saying please dont call me. Since then I havent contacted him at all. Its been 5 days and nothing... I dont know what to do, I love him so much and its killing me not to contact him. I know he loves me, but I dont know if he will ever want to get back with me. What should i do ? Wait ? Im trying to occupy myself and keep busy, but I feel so empty, I really do love him alot, and realise now I had a good thing....any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Tone]

What other option do you have than to wait?

I mean, sure you could call him every single day to the point you totally push him out of your life for good... but all you can do now is prepare for the worse, which means prepare to move on incase he never calls again.

My bet is: he'll call soon.

The only thing you can do is learn from this experience.

Best of luck.

[TAVS]

Yea, Tone's probably speaking the common advice you're going to find on this one.

[carpflounder]

If you think your hurting..just imagine how he is hurting.

You ****ed up....deal with it.

[TAVS]

Wow, Carp pulled out a bit o Wisdom

[carpflounder]

thanks Man

[gHEXjt]

Don't call him, or you'll definitely push him away. Hopefully he will call you soon. The only red flag in my eyes is that he said "its too hard at the moment." When I was dumped and she said that, I didn't hear from her for almost two months, when the whole time she kept saying she was too distraught to speak to me. Well, after those two months, when she finally did speak to me, she was well on her way to moving on, and I was still stuck at square one. So, like Tone said, prepare for the worst.

[Rosebud]

well they always say you never realize what you've had until you've lost it and this is a perfect example of that. You took him for granted and always assumed that no matter what happened he would never actually leave, and this time he did. I think he's very hurt by all this and I don't think he wants to put up with it anymore to be honest. I know we only know your side of the story, but the only thing you can do here is wait. You messed up on this one so you have to accpet that this may be the end!

[Sugarbabe72]

Thankyou for all your replies. I will try with the no contact thing, but its killing me. Im considering writing him a letter or something im not sure. Its been a week now and I would have bet my life he would have called by now....guess I was wrong

[Mish]

Throughout our relationship we had alot of fights, in hindsight over silly things really, but I would get all worked up and tell him to leave. He adored me, told me every day he loved me and told me how beautiful i was etc, and i believed every word he said. However silly me took advantage of his love, and didnt treat him very well, and the last fight we had, I told him to leave again....and this time he did. Deep down i was dying, because I didnt want him to go, but I knew I had pushed him too far.

Just out of curiosity, what made you act this way in the first place? I ask because at the moment it comes off as a type of emotional blackmail (telling him to leave at sight of any argument with the expectation that he will keep on submitting and coming back to patch things up). What were a lot of fights that you had about?

[whaywardj]

Bit of a sadist, aren't you, sugarbabe? Enjoyed beating on him with your "leave" command, and watching him stay, did you? After the second or third time it happened, I'd drop you, too. Maybe there was a lot more to that age difference than you realized. Something which made you feel superior, perhaps?

[mhussain]

have patience thats all that you can do

we all make a mistake, and we all pay a price

hussain

[misombra]

he's too young for you.

[shh!]

I think you should move on. He is a young guy who deserves to be with someone who doesn't want to inflict regular doses of emotional trauma. It sounds to me like he did the healthy thing in moving on. If you really love him, you will want what is best for him and you will stay away.

[mhussain]

I think you should move on. He is a young guy who deserves to be with someone who doesn't want to inflict regular doses of emotional trauma. It sounds to me like he did the healthy thing in moving on. If you really love him, you will want what is best for him and you will stay away.

ahh there is a problem there shh! wanting the best for him and her loving him might conflict


Hussain