My back is up against the wall help!!

[bewildered123]

'm the type of person who goes out of her way to avoid hurting people's feelings, especially those close to me. I've dated someone for 5 years and we've had our ups and downs, mostly about his finances. Fast forward, he just got reemployed after almost a year but he is 65 yrs old and even though he collects social security, his wages are low and he has barely any savings (the only money he has on the side is $ he just inherited but it's small).
He is AFTER ME, putting a lot of pressure on me now that he found a job - he is ecstatic and wants to live/marry ASAP...I'm really scared...I have a good nest egg and have really worked hard all my life to get it. Am I being crazy or do I have to make a decision to tell him that I can't move forward with him because he has really no money to access to really enjoy traveling, etc. and live off after he retires (which he says he wants to do in 5 years), etc. - what about emergency funds, am I that for him?? I feel so bad and guilty...help!

[rjkennedy]

I guess no woman wants a broke man! In your case it's "I got mine, now get yours." Which is fine.

My recommendation: Take it slow. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You want to make the right moves. Him putting pressure on you is not good...this usually would drive most women away. (So he's lucky you're still around.) Good communication is always best! Schedule a time where you and him can sit down and talk over coffee. Map out your plans and what you want and expect out of life.

If what you say goes through one ear and out the other, and he's still pressing; just point out to him that this 'pressuring' and his 'inability to listen' is part of the problem. (Maybe then he'll back down.) Lay it all out on the table! By the time this meeting ends, He'll have a clear understanding of what you're looking for, his role (if he wants this to continue), and what it takes to get to the next level.

[bewildered123]

now I find out that even as he tells me he is "paying off all of his credit card debt now", he still owes almost $5,000.00 plus I see he has 2 other credit cards which have his name but apparently the account has his mother's name on it as primary. He tells me she owes him money all of the time but I can't imagine what for. In any event, isn't that a lie since it is leading me to believe that once he pays off the $5,000.00, he is debt free???

[Hooo!]

I don’t even get what’s the problem
If You don’t want to be with him
Dont

[rjkennedy]

You're fighting to find some good in this guy. Are You worried you may not find another man who may be interested in you? This one may just not be for you. He has to many financial issues...Move on.