Am I being a creep?

[Bhujerba]

Hi ladies of LoveForum

Imagine a creep was stalking after you. You want to get this creep off your back. He texts you that he loves you. But you want nothing to do with him.

Girls this guy won't back off no matter what.

Here's the deal: YOU have possession of some of his belongings. And in ALL of his text messages, the creep asks you to return the items.

Will you return his items to him (or pay him for them if you threw them away) if that meant getting him off your back?
The creep (case in point: me) believes that by not returning his items to him, you are 'subliminally' sending him cues that you DO want him to keep messaging you.

...
I am going through a similar problem. I love this woman. She has my items. She says she wants nothing to do with me. But she doesn't return my items to me either. What gives? What could this woman possibly be thinking? I have tried to understand her state of mind but my musings lead me to nowhere.

I was hoping to get a second opinion from you folks.

Does she indeed love me or have I misunderstood her intentions?

[Mathias]

I am going through a similar problem. I love this woman. She has my items. She says she wants nothing to do with me. But she doesn't return my items to me either. What gives? What could this woman possibly be thinking? I have tried to understand her state of mind but my musings lead me to nowhere.

Your mistake is trying to interpret intent based off behavior.

Leave her alone. She's probably not returning your stuff.

If you want your stuff back badly, pursue legal action. Otherwise stop bugging someone who outwardly says to stop bugging them.

[Bhujerba]

Okay I have one tiny correction to make. I ONLY sent her ONE text letting her know that I had feelings for her.

All of my messages after that (over 20 of them) have been requesting her to let me take my stuff and get it over with.

Why would I send a legal notice to someone I love? Won't that only make things worse between us?

What would you have done if you were in her place? Would you return the stuff if it meant getting rid of the guy forever?

[Yadi]

Defo doesn't love you mate. Terrorising you, perhaps. Trying to lure you into making yourself look like a desperate wierdo, maybe. Loving the attention, quite possibly. But, whether she is doing it on purpose or not doesn't really matter, you really are being weird regardless, and should just leave her alone.

Find a nice girl, and treat her nicely. If she doesn't want to see you, go do something else.

[CantMoveOn]

You even call yourself a "creep " so you even know you are being weird with her.

[Bhujerba]

I am literally asking that sly woman to return my stuff and nothing more. How is that me being a creep?

Perhaps I skewed your thoughts about my situation a little by inserting the weird 'creep'.

I am literally asking that woman to return my stuff to me. How is that wrong? I am not asking her to go out on a date with me or something. I even told her she could give the items to the security guy and get it over with. How is that wrong or creepy?

I have 'left her alone' but I don't understand the meaning behind her not returning the stuff.

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Defo doesn't love you mate. Terrorising you, perhaps. Trying to lure you into making yourself look like a desperate wierdo, maybe. Loving the attention, quite possibly. But, whether she is doing it on purpose or not doesn't really matter, you really are being weird regardless, and should just leave her alone.

Find a nice girl, and treat her nicely. If she doesn't want to see you, go do something else.

How am I being weird by asking for my own items?

[bunnyhabit]

I would have a friend return items to guy i don't like. if like him i would arrange a place to meet to return items or reconnect

i suspect this girl is baiting you to stay in contact with her perhaps to make other guys jealous she is being persued by other men

she doesn't love you but not ready to let go of you as returning items would cause "game over" between the two of you

[Mr Married]

You need to completely let it go. Never contact her again. She does not love or like you in any way, shape, or form.

[missluna]

Have you tried just asking her why she keeps your items? I mean it would be very revealing what argument she brings forward to justify her keeping your possessions.

[Bhujerba]

Have you tried just asking her why she keeps your items? I mean it would be very revealing what argument she brings forward to justify her keeping your possessions.

She only gets angrier when I ask her to let me know why she wouldn't return it. She neither wants me back, neither does she want to return my stuff to me.

If you wanted to get a guy off your back, wouldn't it make sense to clear out all outstanding dues?

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You need to completely let it go. Never contact her again. She does not love or like you in any way, shape, or form.

What makes you so sure?

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I would have a friend return items to guy i don't like. if like him i would arrange a place to meet to return items or reconnect

i suspect this girl is baiting you to stay in contact with her perhaps to make other guys jealous she is being persued by other men

she doesn't love you but not ready to let go of you as returning items would cause "game over" between the two of you

I want my stuff back. I told her that she doesn't have to meet me. That someone else can drop it off to my place, that she can mail it to me. I gave her every possible alternative to not have to make contact with me. But she doesn't budge.

Would you return a guy his stuff back (doesn't matter how cheap) if it meant getting rid of him forever?

[bunnyhabit]

being unaware what the "stuff" is, it is possible she believes this "stuff" is hers and not yours and has no intention to ever return this "stuff" to you?

[Bhujerba]

being unaware what the "stuff" is, it is possible she believes this "stuff" is hers and not yours and has no intention to ever return this "stuff" to you?

It is my stuff. She knows that very well. Maybe a bit of backstory will help.

I broke off with her in the first place. But I didn't take my stuff. Part of me wanted to not break off with her, but messed up as it is, I broke off with her.
Then I asked her to give me back my stuff. She hasn't given it back to me.

She no longer wants to see me however even though I have apologized to her numerous times. She also owes me a bit of cash too which she can easily give back to me without breaking the bank. But she wouldn't do that either.

She says she no longer wants anything at all whatsoever to do with me. So I said, "Fine, please return the stuff to me." And she only gets angrier and angrier.

[bunnyhabit]

that makes no sense, why would a girl want guy stuff? i think she is keeping as to, punishment you since you are hounding her about it.

what is this stuff that is so important as to be the center of attraction to both of you. appears so childish to fight over so much.

[bulrush]

Stop talking to her. It would be nice if she gave your stuff back, but she won't. Now let it go. She's not interested in dating a stalker.

[Bhujerba]

Stop talking to her. It would be nice if she gave your stuff back, but she won't. Now let it go. She's not interested in dating a stalker.

Maybe I should have used the right choice of words. I am not stalking her. I am not sending her emails. I have stopped contact with her.

What I don't understand is why she isn't giving me back my stuff.