He's gone quite... what's my next step?

[Love07]

Hi There,

Looking for advise. I've been dating a guy for three months now, I really can see a future with him, I really do like him and care about him. We have both spoken about our future together, not just via text, but on the phone and face to face when we go out. He has told me he's falling for me and that he really wants to make this work.

He's currently not in a good place with work. He's very stressed, not happy and very persistent on making sure he's doing right by the company - despite the company he's working for is in financial distress. He's being lumped with all the calls from suppliers complaining they haven't been paid and because of this it's up to him to complete all the work (despite it not being his job). He is looking for another job and has had a few interviews. Still he's one of the last men still working for this company, he thinks he's a failure if he just quits. Every Sunday he gets anxiety and depressed knowing he has to work on Monday. It's bringing him down and being negative, which he hates.

We were supposed to catch up on Thursday, but he left work late so asked if we could catch up on Friday and I was fine with that. I sent him a message to see if he got home oaky as it's a long drive and didn't hear back. I waited a couple of hours and sent another text to see if he's okay. Yet no reply. By this this time I was getting worried. So I called but he's phone was off. I also notice then that the messages haven't gone through as his phone was off. This was unlike him. And of course I was really worried that perhaps he was in a car accident. By the morning I still haven't heard from him. I sent another just wondering if he got my texts and that he's okay. He replied, he apologised and said he had a massive headache so he went straight to bed when he got home. He made a comment that he was feeling crap and light headed but yet still went into work. I told him to take it easy and drink plenty of water and wished him good luck with his interview, followed by big hugs and kisses. Later int he afternoon I asked how he's day was going but no reply. Later that night I asked how his interview went and if he's still keen to catch up tonight. No reply. I've left it there. Its now ben 24 hours and I still haven't heard from him. I know he's probably just sorting things out in his head.

Do I just leave him to be and wait for him to get back into contact with me? How long do I wait? Should I wait a couple a days and then send a message to him seeing if he's okay and that I care. I'm a little lost on what to do next, I don't want to push him away by not giving him space. But I also don't really like him ignoring me. Please help.

[stuckgirl]

It sounds like he has some things to work out. If you want a long-term relationship you need to decide what your needs are and if he can fulfill them, and vice versa. If you do decide to pursue something more serious (ie. moving in together, etc.) I would suggest that you go to couple's counselling first, to help you two adjust to each other's expectations and needs.

If this is just a casual dating thing, then you need to make sure you have enough of a social life apart from him that when he doesn't respond for a couple days you're not sitting alone going crazy.

[bunnyhabit]

no woman should be ignored like he is doing on you. date other guys with good jobs and personality. dont be so needy with him. play out the "hard to have" routine to get him more aggressive with you if you can't let go of him. i would avoid him

[Hooo!]

No matter what the reason is
Ignoring your wife or girlfriend is most likely not the right decision.

You can go through shit together and you can take it
If he doesn’t want that then for me this would be a clear message


The above is what I personally would tell him, because that is how I would feel