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Thread: Uncomfortable making out w/ "friend"

  1. #1
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    Mar 2018
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    Uncomfortable making out w/ "friend"

    Hi Guys,
    I need help on something that really bothers me: yesterday I went over to a friend's home to study. For context: we're not really close friends but I like him and we've been studying together before.
    For like a month or so I had a little crush on him and we've been kinda flirting so yeah I was mainly just excited to see him.
    So we ended up watching a movie (Silent Hill) and I was kinda scared so he put his arm around me and we held hands and it was really nice and sweet.
    Problem is, after a short while he started touching my belly and then my butt and my boobs. I got really uncomfortable and to be honest, I don't know WHY bc as I said I liked him. I didn't know what to say though bc I obviously led him on, flirted with him, teased him, touched him etc. So I just kept silent.
    However, when we started kissing and making out and he put his hands in my pants it got really horrible and I just panicked and stopped. He was confused and wanted to continue so I said that there's this guy that I date - which is obviously a lie, I'd never do that. But I didn't want to hurt his feelings and tell him that this is horrible and as I said - I panicked and telling a guy that there's another guy is usually the one thing that kept guys away (in my experience).
    Now, telling him that there's another guy hurt his feelings, too, and I'm really sorry... It's all my fault because I gave pretty clear signals before and I DON'T know at all why I was so fcking uncomfortable (I've had sex before and I've obviously also made out with guys before) . It was so terribly awkward when I left, I ruined a perfectly good friendship! How the hell do I fix this mess?

  2. #2
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    he was obviously horny and wanted to see how easy you were sexually. for him to finger your puxxy that quickly you should have slapped him and left him upset not giving an excuse for not being fxxked at first make out session.

    you should make it clear to him that you are crushing on him but are not a slut and didn't appreciate how he treated you as a horny slut at first romantic occasion. if he apologized for his actions you can decide whether to be with him in future.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2018
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    Decide if you want friendship to remain or go for the crush. I think you want to go for the crush but it got to heavy to fast.
    To go for the crush just put it very straight forward....I like you, I'm interested in you, but I'm not the kind of girl that moves that fast.
    If he truly respects you he will accept this and want to move forward.
    Don't let the awkward part over come you if this is what you really want....you have some emotional time already invested in your mind.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    I don't know WHY bc as I said I liked him.
    In your post you were never clear that you liked him as a friend, or more than a friend. So he just assumed you liked him as a friend. Next time, have better communication.

    I don't know if this is fixable, but the next time you talk to him, you MUST tell him what you want: either friends or dates, and stick with it. If you're wishy washy he may dump you, or use you first then dump you. Wishy washy girls don't qualify for LTR.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    He pushed way too far too fast. Acting a little flirty doesn't justify a hand down your pants. I'm not really sure you should fix this and I really doubt that he would be a good choice for a friend. He was trying to use you as a sex toy. Everything he was doing made you uncomfortable and he should have been able to see you discomfort.

    I don't see anything in this that was your fault. Girls get flirty with guys all the time,...doesn't mean they want hands shoved down their pants.

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