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Thread: Should I go for her?

  1. #1
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    Should I go for her?

    So I have been talking to this lovely girl for a couple of months now. I feel a good connection between us, which is really awesome. The thing is, she has been dealing with a lot of stuff, which caused her to be suicidal. She has been trying to commit suicide multiple times, but that is quite some time since that. She has lately been trying to stop cutting. I am afraid that if we would go into a relationship, and it wouldn't work, and I would be forced to leave her, then she would harm herself. So know I just want some advice. Cause she really lovely, I am just afraid to take more steps between us.

    Thanks in advance.
    - "Spree"

  2. #2
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    Run !!!!!!! this has bad written all over it !!! Do not get involved !

  3. #3
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    You are not her therapist. Just keep that in mind. Whatever you do.

    I’d personally not do it with the experience I have now. But it’s your own life. There is no one who can tell you or take the important decisions for you in your life.

    Decide on your own

  4. #4
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    Just be her friend for now if suicidal and depressed she doesn't need a bf as much as she needs a good friend and listener.
    “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.”

  5. #5
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    I would agree with the general consensus here. You do have to do what is right for you. It is your life to live, nobody else's. But, I personally would not recommend entering into a relationship with her right now. That doesn't mean you can't be friends. You can be there to help and support her in any way you can. But, I think it would probably be better for her to focus on herself right now, and on getting better. Relationships can often be part of helping you to get better.... but should be PART of it. I hope she's getting the help she needs to get better. But, if she is not that far removed from having tried to end her suffering in a permanent manner, then she may very well not be ready for a relationship.

    In time, hopefully she could get better, and then as she progresses in her recovery, perhaps things would be different. But, again, it's just my personal advice that it would be best not to enter into anything serious at a time when she really should be focusing on herself. On getting better. But, again, that is just my advice. If you feel like that isn't what you ultimately want to do, then at the very least, I would just suggest being a supportive partner. Encourage her to get the help she needs, but do as best you can to make it sound supportive and not like an insult. Sometimes it can be hard for the person in that situation not to take it the wrong way when people are just trying to help. You can be there as a loving, supporting friend, whether it is just as a friend or in a relationship.... but unless you are a trained professional therapist, you can't necessarily help her beyond that. So, being there for her is the best thing you could do.

    Good luck to you either way.

  6. #6
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    No! You are not and cannot be her therapist and trying to help her will be a roller coaster most people do not have the skills or strength to deal with.

    Source: I have depression and before I was on meds I was a real poopie pants. I can hardly blame people for not wanting to be around me. I wouldn't want to be around me like that.

    Also, when I broke up with my one gf she was suicidal. At least I had some experience with this so I got her help within minutes.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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