Why does my ex girlfriend text me more when she's drunk and less when she's sober?

[ryan81298]

My girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago. I still want her back. She said she needed time and space and said she didn't know if we should breakup or stay together but she still really cares about me. I recently apologized for my contributions to the breakup saying I messed up and she said "we both made mistakes" We have remained in contact. The thing is when we text when she's sober it is usually me initiating contact (which I shouldn't but sometimes I slip) and usually short conversations and doesn't seem that interested but she seems to initiate contact only if I don't after 4 days. But when she's drunk she texts me usually around 3 AM saying "hi" or "sorry we didn't workout" or "I still care about you I hope you know its just as hard for me" and usually I'm sleeping and text her in the morning and its back to short conversations and like nothing ever happened. Lately I've been getting 1-2 drunk texts per week and 1-2 sober "conversations" a week.

Anyways I'm just looking for advice as to why she does this? Is there any chance she regrets breaking up with me? Does she just feel lonely when she's drinking? Does she still have feelings for me?

I asked her to meet up for coffee to catch up soon and she said that would be nice. I will see where it takes me...

[Hooo!]

Yes she regrets it in some views
Yes she feels lonely because she is
And ofc you always have feelings for someone you have been with


And then when you get sober you remember why you broke up with them in the first place.

[lovebroken]

Probably lonely and doesn't use her head when drunk uses her hear and inhibitions and boundaries drop and when you get more texts. You should talk in person with her.

[canadaman816]

I know breakups can be a very hard thing to go through. Sorry to hear it's been difficult to communicate well with your ex. It sounds from your situation that you definitely still care about your ex, but if she is not willing to communicate with you clearly or face-to-face, that makes it very challenging. Healthy relationships tend to thrive on clear and regular communication, and if your ex is only texting you while drunk, it's really hard to know if she still cares about you or is being honest in her emotions.

Like you said, getting coffee or meeting up some other way face-to-face would be a great way to express feelings and establish what both of you want or don't want out of your continued friendship. There will be no way to know for sure until you're completely honest with each other. Hoping for the best for you, and that the two of you can meet up soon!

[ryan81298]

I know breakups can be a very hard thing to go through. Sorry to hear it's been difficult to communicate well with your ex. It sounds from your situation that you definitely still care about your ex, but if she is not willing to communicate with you clearly or face-to-face, that makes it very challenging. Healthy relationships tend to thrive on clear and regular communication, and if your ex is only texting you while drunk, it's really hard to know if she still cares about you or is being honest in her emotions.

Like you said, getting coffee or meeting up some other way face-to-face would be a great way to express feelings and establish what both of you want or don't want out of your continued friendship. There will be no way to know for sure until you're completely honest with each other. Hoping for the best for you, and that the two of you can meet up soon!

This makes a lot of sense. Like she seems intersted but not enough. Im just confused on what to do when I meet up. Do i talk to her about starting over or try to reatract her again?

[canadaman816]

This makes a lot of sense. Like she seems intersted but not enough. Im just confused on what to do when I meet up. Do i talk to her about starting over or try to reatract her again?

I think you just need to tell her your intentions, that you're willing to start over and try to do certain things better, and see if she's willing to do the same. I think that if she knows your character by now, there's probably no need to re-attract her and she'd be willing to try harder. If not, you won't need to agonize about it anymore and can have some closure. Hope that helps!

[thelonelyone]

Because she doesn't think. She doesn't remember reasons why she broke up with u. It doesn't mean she wants to get back to u.

[bulrush]

She might have really cared about you but that does not mean you are good for each other. You two need to be more compatible if you want it to work. It happens, it's nobody's fault. She's simply expressing she misses you, that does not mean she wants to get back together.