Hi,

I thought I was ok with my current friend situation but I'm realising that I'm really not! So I'm hoping someone can give me some advice and guidance on what to do as I don't really know where else to turn...

Long story short- 6 years ago I had an excellent group of friends, I was joint at the hip with 2 of them and very close to the rest. I started seeing an awful man who manipulated me, assaulted me and made me loose everything including my home etc. One of the girls moved in with me a couple of months before I moved in with the bf but she brought bailiffs to my door so I booted her out. She lied to the rest saying id just kicked her out because of the bf. I was only with him a year before I'd had enough. But by that time I'd lost my friends. I was a very angry and upset person but I started my dream job and refused to let anything get in the way so that was my focus.
I tried my hardest to get back to being friends with them again but they would make me feel so in debt to them it was just awful. "Queen bee" would invite me to doo's where they'd talk about all the great things they would do together but remind me I wasn't invited to them because I "can't expect that".
I got so annoyed that i just gave up and moved on.
I've since become very good friends again with one of the girls, we talked it out and she's been brilliant. I met a lovely man and got engaged last year. I was on talking terms with "the girls" and had too much to drink one night when I got emotional about my wedding and commented on someone's Facebook status. It was about friends who do bad things but they come out looking great and you look awful (the girl who brought bailiffs to my door!!!) So, they saw the comment and were not Happy!! I shouldn't have wrote it and do regret it but I feel totally cheated by it all, she's treated like a queen when really, she's was pretty bad!!!

So, moving on to nye last year, I bumped into them. I was very calm as bailiff girl started kicking off in the pub hitting herself and telling me I hurt her!!!! I felt I'd turned a corner with my feelings and had really outgrown their pettyiness. I got married last September and the girl I'm friends with came. I've been fine until now.

It is her birthday today, I'm sat at home alone while the husband is at work and they are all out.
I saw her on Thursday and she told me she felt awful that I couldn't go tonight and she didn't want me to think she didn't want me there. She is worried about people's feelings, upsetting people and making people feel awkward. I genuinely don't think I'd be upset if I went. I think the bailiff girl and the "queen bee" would be. I'm on good terms with everyone else going, great terms with some of them! But my friend has had to make that choice and I got the cut, that is what upsets me. I totally get it but just don't know how to deal with it or where to go from here.
I messaged bailiff girl a couple of months ago to clear the air but she ignored it. I messaged queen bee a few days ago and she's ignored me. I feel I'm the decent person but I'm the one suffering and also my friend shouldn't have to choose. It's been 5 years now!!!
I'm not a manipulative person and I'm far too forgiving. I just want everyone to get on but part of me really wants to worm my way in as I really do think those 2 girls are being so awful to me, that I just wish others would see it!!

I feel so sad about it all and I'd really really like some outside advice xxx