How do I escape my boyfriend

[feelingtrapped]

Been with boyfriend for over 5 years but never lived with him. He has had issues with financial honesty to me over the years which has led to a few breakups. He kept saying to me after our last breakup (last May) that he wants to marry me (soon), etc. The last straw was for me 10 days ago with another lie so I told him I'm sorry but can't take it anymore (especially if he is thinking marriage). It's too hard to be with someone you can't trust despite their best efforts to improve (and he has tried in some respects). After less than 24 hours, he texted me and told me we belonged together and should forget about the bad things we said to each other the day before when I told him I was breaking up with him. He is very dependent on me for his emotional needs (almost seems to be "addicted" to me). He tells me I am not ready for commitment in a relationship and I'm breaking up with him now b/c of the upcoming holiday and my sister's wedding in May(when he would meet the rest of my family). He also told me I'd never find another man, much less one that loves me as much as him and I had a pretty face but I should stop touching a blemish on my face. He said we break up but always reconcile (which has been true in the past) but I really can't take it anymore. How do I break free emotionally and physically?

[Antoni]

He his dishonest about money to you, he seems to also have controlling issues saying you will never find another man and also trying to belittle you about your blemish. Trust is important in any relationship without that you have nothing and it won't work. He needs to change but to really change yourself takes years of self reflection and you have to really want to, it's not easy. You seem to be in a toxic relationship and cycle which you know you need to break. No breakup is easy but try and find things that will occupy your mind, socialize with other people and eventually you might find someone else that is a much better match for you.

[soconfused728]

How to make sure he doesn't show up at my house this Friday night for holiday dinner???

[Hooo!]

Tell him you won’t like him being there and you’d call the cops if he came

[soconfused728]

So I tried breaking up and he said that he suspects I'm seeing someone or interested in someone and conjuring up excuses to break up. He said his financial errors are "old news" and a "zebra can change their stripes".
He said I feel trapped because I don't know how to tell my family that I'm back with him since I broke up with him last year.
I think I just need to say "I don't love you anymore" even though I still have feelings for him; otherwise, he will never give up.
Thoughts?

[Antoni]

So I tried breaking up and he said that he suspects I'm seeing someone or interested in someone and conjuring up excuses to break up. He said his financial errors are "old news" and a "zebra can change their stripes".
He said I feel trapped because I don't know how to tell my family that I'm back with him since I broke up with him last year.
I think I just need to say "I don't love you anymore" even though I still have feelings for him; otherwise, he will never give up.
Thoughts?

It doesn't matter what he thinks. You don't want to be with him anymore, he can either accept it and move on or not that is his problem. If he continues to hassle and stalk you even though you have made it clear you no longer want to be a couple then you should contact the police and get a restraining order against him.

[bulrush]

- You stop communicating with him completely. Never return any of his messages ever.
- It takes time to heal your heart and it won't heal if you keep communicating with him.
- Find other hobbies and interests to do and keep you busy.
- Never go back to him.

If you fail to follow these simple rules you will only hurt yourself.

Source: I'm divorced from a very abusive woman.

[soconfused728]

I thank all of your for your help. I finally did it and told him as nicely as I could that I didn't love him anymore after all of the lies (nor did I respect him) but I cared for him. He told me he'd still show up for dinner but I wrote him and didn't place blame on either of us however, his first text blamed me entirely that I baby my adult son (who has autism) so I was afraid of making him upset. Several hours later he apologized but said what he originally said is true. I am over it!!!!
Thanks!

[bulrush]

When you break up never say you care for him, it will only encourage the crazies. Some dudes are just crazy level 5. That's "maximum crazy".

[PRW]

He sounds like a Narcissist,...they switch between praising you and insulting you when they can't fulfill their obsession. They will go from "giddy" to suicidal to manipulate you. The emotional up and down they cycle you through over and over wears you down and pulls you in.

You need to take this very seriously. One girl I knew growing up had a guy like this. After they broke up and she was actually living with a new guy, this freak found out where she lived and while the new guy was at work and she was home alone,...he came there,...she was stupid enough to let him in,...he raped her and beat the holy crap out of her. Initially nothing was done to him legally, but then he did it again with another girl and that time his own parents turned him into the police and he went to prison. I never saw him again after that. Unfortunately she was emotionally messed up the rest of her life.