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Thread: GF on vacation started using tinder platonically

  1. #16
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    It is very doubtful that she is doing a "jealousy" test....she's just seeing what she can get away with. And she probably believes if she is up front with what she is doing, then it should be OK. Anywho let her do whatever and deal with it when she gets back.

  2. #17
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    Two questions.

    1) What caused the falling out with her friend? Do you know that friend and can you message her and ask?

    2) Why did she pick a man to hang out with from Tinder and not a female? Odd to me. On both picking a man and doing it on Tinder. Why not make up with the friend, and not risk stranger danger in another country?

  3. #18
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    I think all this depends on what stage your relationship is at. If I am married to this person, certainly this is not acceptable. Some people view serious relationships are almost like a marriage with regards to these issues.
    You've been dating for 5 months, but maybe she has a different view of the relationship than you.

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by CantMoveOn View Post
    Two questions.

    1) What caused the falling out with her friend? Do you know that friend and can you message her and ask?

    2) Why did she pick a man to hang out with from Tinder and not a female? Odd to me. On both picking a man and doing it on Tinder. Why not make up with the friend, and not risk stranger danger in another country?
    Actually, those are two really good points I hadn't even thought of before. So, I'll definitely second both of those. I'd be curious as to what happened with her friend that could cause such a falling out that she'd actually up and leave like that. I mean, sometimes stuff happens and maybe her friend didn't turn out to be such a great friend after all ....But you never know. I had an ex who used to have these kind of falling outs with friends quite a lot. It still baffles my mind how in the blue Hell it never occurred to me until much later that maybe she was largely a cause of those failing friendships. That the stories she told me that always painted her as the victim were partially or sometimes completely false and constructed to make her look completely innocent when the truth was often the exact opposite. Maybe your gal was just unfortunately trusting the wrong friend... but there is still the chance that SHE was the problem and not the friend.

    Also, agreed about the second point. Not even sure why that didn't occur to me, but if she was supposedly using Tinder (A DATING APP) to find friends... why not use it to find female friends? I mean, I've never been one to believe men and women cannot be friends, even if/when one or both of them are already in a relationship. I think you can be, but it just shouldn't necessarily be like you are actively trying to search out those sort of friendships.

    Again, it isn't like I'm psychic. Could be she truly is 100% true to her word and is only looking for friends and is completely clear with them about that. Even if that DID turn out to be the case, it still doesn't change my opinion that she did NOT treat you fairly. Maybe you could have handled the situation better, but that doesn't make her right for even putting you in a position in the first place that wasn't right.

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