Need breakup advice, 8 months and still not over him!!

[Littlebunnyxo]

Hello everyone this is going to be a long one so if you's could please try to keep interested in reading through out! myself and my ex split up just over eight months ago now. we went through a horrendous break up. I initially called it off last February but he came to me in april and wanted to try again, he hadn't cancelled our holiday etc. so I agreed to go on holiday with him. over the 3 months we were getting ready to go on holiday, it sounds psycho but I noticed the same name kept appearing on his likes on social media but I chose to ignore it. She was a girl from his work, he began to mention her several times which was odd as her name was never mentioned before, I tried to ignore it, as I'm not the possessive type and I don't care about my man having friends who are girls but it started annoy me as he was putting me down against her, like making snide comments. he even started hiding his phone from my view, which he never used to do. so as you can tell, alarm bells are ringing. bearing in mind, hes the one who contacted me to make a go of it again... eventually, it did start to cause a problem, as I began to get jealous, was hesitant on sleeping with him, being a normal girlfriend etc. Began to cause a lot of tension and arguments and he kept 'reassuring' me that I was being crazy and it was all in my head.. anyway fast forward to the holiday. from start to finish, it was AWFUL. pretty much the second we got to the airport, I was dreading it. we actually came home five days early, as I booked a flight home, I was so upset that it was nothing like our last holiday. it honestly was devastating as we were at the same place. was like I was with a different person. 2 weeks after we got home, he texted me and told me how it was all in my head, nothing was going on with her. all he wanted was me etc. I told him I couldn't take it anymore, I wasn't interested and blocked him off everything. as much as it killed me I told him I couldn't have him back. another couple of weeks later, me and my friend were out. she gave me her phone and it showed that my ex and the girl were in a relationship??? you can imagine what I was like, I was just so angry. devastated overall as I actually let someone make me think I was crazy and possessive. I didn't feel like I wanted him back, all I really felt like was sad because the person who once made me happy and laugh in a way that no one else could, the person I wanted to wake up next to every day.. was gone, he hurt me like no one else did. this time 2 years ago, I never thought hed be capable of doing this. I'm not the girl I used to be, I honestly feel like hes took the old me with him and now i'm someone whos insecure and incapable of being loved. I find it very hard to trust people now. I done the whole delete pictures of eachother, throwing away anything we had together in the relationship like presents etc and ive blocked him off social media so I don't stalk him either. ive done literally everything, he was a vile person but literally every day I catch myself thinking about him, even all the good stuff we had during our time together. I've went out on dates but just no one compares to the start of my relationship with him. i'm very angry about this because all I can think of is how dare he leave me this way and be with a girl he told me I have nothing to worry about. I don't know if I cant settle with someone because I'm scared my future relationships will turn out like the one with him or if its because none of those guys will ever be him. I have a good group of friends and a good family, ive been offered a good job with more money and I'm planning on moving out of my parents house in a couple of months... so its not like I'm 'hiding away' like people do, I'm not burying my head in the sand, I am being involved and sociable but nothing seems to be working. has anyone ever been in this situation? any advice would help? thank you xxxx

[Lovedianaroses]

I had a wise old lady once tell me that with a man, you take away all the adjectives and that's the real him. For example, "he was hardworking, ambitious, sweet, kind, caring, and he cheated." Take out the adjectives and what's left? "He cheated." This advice always helped me get over breakups. Don't forget that he hurt you. No matter how great the beginning was, in the end, he hurt you. No guy who hurt you should be worthy of any further space in your heart. The crushing feeling you are going through is anger and betrayal, not longing for the beautiful beginning. I suggest you go on more dates and give the new guys a chance. The "great" beginning you had with your ex didn't turn out to be great. So maybe you need to meet someone with a slow start and give yourself time to learn about each other and start a new kind of love. Don't let trust issues get in the way. If that feels like too much, then you are not ready for a new relationship yet. Go rock your new job and do the things you enjoy. Get your identity and self esteem back and soon, you will be over the old jerk before you know it.