Is it wrong?

[Bbcolz]

So there is this guy that I only flirted with and then he got a girlfriend and then they decided to be friends again to know each other and I found out today and now I'm happy.....is it wrong for me to be happy that they broke up or should I not care?

[DalM0m]

You being happy is not the most terrible thing in the world. You are in high school. Emotions just are . . . they aren't right or wrong. Try not gloat but otherwise, don't sweat it.

[pcmaster]

Why you making these short topics. just think and gather all your thoughts all together and make a long topic. I dont want to see less than 5 lines in your next topic.

[Zachi]

I've been in this dilemma too. Is it wrong to be happy over someone else's broken relationship? Well, it's only natural for you to feel a relief, if you have feelings for that guy. So don't blame yourself for feeling something that is natural

[Bbcolz]

Pcmaster: If you don't like what I do then you don't have to respond. I did it because I wanted more feedback.

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Zachi: ok thanks

[TheEvilJester]

No, just on the surface of it, of course it isn't wrong that you are happy. I mean, it would be wrong if you were ridiculously and maliciously happy like "YES! F that b word! She doesn't deserve him." LOL! I am assuming you aren't happy because of any suffering they may have gone through. As in, you aren't happy because they are unhappy.... you are just happy because you like him and now there could be a chance that he'll be available.

That is more so like you are happy because of the result, not because of how it happened. For example, say somebody at work gets fired, and then you get promoted to their job. It involves a lot more money and is a big career move. Are you supposed to not be happy for yourself? You're not happy BECAUSE that person got fired. You feel bad for them and hope they land back on their feet... but you can still be happy for what that means for you.

So, no, you're not wrong if you are just happy for the chance it could give you. I could be wrong, but that was the impression I got. That you are NOT happy that they went through whatever may have caused them to break up/take a step back. You are just happy because it could maybe mean an opportunity for you.

[Bbcolz]

TheEvilJester: yeah I'm happy but like I don't want to be with him because I'm not right for him.

[TheEvilJester]

Oh. Wait, then I'm not sure I understand why you are happy that they broke up. I guess I just misunderstood in thinking you were happy because you wanted a chance to be with him. That still doesn't necessarily make you wrong. It depends, I guess, on why you are happy they broke up. If you don't mind sharing, that is.

[Bbcolz]

TheEvilJester: Ok so the guy I flirted with he got a girlfriend and I was super sad (even cried...drama queen? Idk). So I decdided that since he had a girlfriend I wouldn't talk to him as much as I did. Then yesterday to find out the girl and him broke up or "took a break" because he wanted to get to know her better which to me means she's still on his waiting list so I feel like I shouldn't think there's still a chance with me and him and just not care.

[Zachi]

Hmm... Let me relate to a situation I was in. I had this female friend (she is still my friend btw) and we were close friends. But I felt no romantic interest in her. She had a boyfriend, and I had my own girl-problems that I would talk to her about. But I hated the fact that she had a boyfriend. Not because I was interested with her at all, but because she was 15 years old at that time, and already had a romantic relationship, unlike me who was 22 years old, and still hadn't succeeded at having a girlfriend yet. I was jealous. Not at her boyfriend, but at her for being 15 years old, and already having found love.

So the day she called me and cried to me that she had broken up with him, I couldn't help but feel a relief in my stomach. Not because I wanted to be her boyfriend at all, but because of me and her finally being "on the same level" again. Of course I didn't show off any signs of relief. She was my best friend, so I did what I could to comfort her. I wasn't happy over her sadness though. I was happy knowing that finally my closest friend would be single just like me, and I could finally feel a relatable connection, and not having to worry about jealousy over the fact that she had a boyfriend, when I didn't have a girlfriend.

So don't blame yourself for that. I am sure you do not feel happiness over their sadness, but rather the fact that now things are easier for you to deal with, knowing you don't have to feel jealous anymore... I guess...

[TheEvilJester]

Bbcolz,

I'm still a little confused on your part. Is what you are saying kind of like Zachi's example? Because I think Zachi's example is a great illustration of the kind of thing I was describing.

Hearing that story, I would say Zachi shouldn't feel bad. Firstly because he couldn't help a gut reaction that part of him was a little jealous of his friend making seem so easy something that was difficult for him. Secondly, because he wasn't happy she was sad. He felt bad she was upset. Jealousy is a natural reaction we can't necessarily help. The difference is when you have the sense to realize that your jealousy is wrong. Not that YOU are wrong for having jealous feeling, because you can't help that. But, that those feelings themselves are wrong, and you should never act on them or dwell in them. Like in Zachi's case, he was there for his friend as a caring, supportive friend. He acted based on his sensible side, on what he knew was right. Not on the jealous feeling he couldn't help.

[Hooo!]

What do you want?

[Zachi]

TheEvilJester, exactly!