Should we have a conversation about why we broke up?

[ananthiM]

Everything happens because of misunderstanding. Understanding each other well is important in any relationship. Communication is a key in any relationship. Talk and get sorted

[TheEvilJester]

I don't know if I necessarily agree with anathiM. That's good that he reached out to be friends again, but I sort of feel like if he wanted to talk about it in more detail he would have said that. At this point, I personally don't see any reason to talk about it any further. Mainly because my personal advice would be to consider him a friend at best, or probably even better just to consider him a casual acquaintance. If you decide he will remain just a friend/acguaintance to you, then what would be the point of having that conversation anyway? I would personally NOT suggest giving him another chance as a date/potential boyfriend.

Sure, maybe he grew to feel bad about how things ended... but I highly doubt he changed all that much so quickly. If you two tried to rekindle the relationship, maybe he'd be more reasonable.... about that one issue. Maybe he'd actually start coming at a more reasonable time based on when you ask him to come.... but eventually there would be some other really minor issue where he'd needlessly blow up at you. He'd almost certainly over-react to something and cause another big fight over something that could have easily just been a civilized discussion.

I can't tell you what to do. If you feel you need to talk to him about it, then maybe reach out and see if he is open to the conversation. But, it just isn't what I would personally recommend. Again, I also would NOT recommend dating him again. But, again, if you thought there could have been something there and want to see if it could work this time, I cannot tell you what to do. You have to do what feels right for you. I just personally doubt anything would change the second time.

Good luck to you either way.

[blabla]

I don't know if I necessarily agree with anathiM. That's good that he reached out to be friends again, but I sort of feel like if he wanted to talk about it in more detail he would have said that. At this point, I personally don't see any reason to talk about it any further. Mainly because my personal advice would be to consider him a friend at best, or probably even better just to consider him a casual acquaintance. If you decide he will remain just a friend/acguaintance to you, then what would be the point of having that conversation anyway? I would personally NOT suggest giving him another chance as a date/potential boyfriend.

Sure, maybe he grew to feel bad about how things ended... but I highly doubt he changed all that much so quickly. If you two tried to rekindle the relationship, maybe he'd be more reasonable.... about that one issue. Maybe he'd actually start coming at a more reasonable time based on when you ask him to come.... but eventually there would be some other really minor issue where he'd needlessly blow up at you. He'd almost certainly over-react to something and cause another big fight over something that could have easily just been a civilized discussion.

I can't tell you what to do. If you feel you need to talk to him about it, then maybe reach out and see if he is open to the conversation. But, it just isn't what I would personally recommend. Again, I also would NOT recommend dating him again. But, again, if you thought there could have been something there and want to see if it could work this time, I cannot tell you what to do. You have to do what feels right for you. I just personally doubt anything would change the second time.

Good luck to you either way.

Thank you.

We did talk briefly through text message about what happened, saying that things escalated, we said things we didn't mean, and said sorry to each other. But it was all very surface level conversation, none of us went deeper into details of what happened, and I felt that was because neither of us want to get back together, so what's the point?

I do not want to date him again. Of course I thought about it, but as you said, other issues would come up and I feel that what happened and how he dealt with things is just the way he is, and it wasn't a misunderstanding or anything like that. And of course the way he is would come up again in the future.

Also, I don't want to be with someone scared of what's going to go wrong again and having to break up again. I also don't want to be with a man that I want him to change to be the type of man I want. Better be on my own and free to meet my right match.

[cocacola]

Yeah online dating is hard- the "next!" syndrome. I have been in your shoes where I got mad and broke up then regretted it too. I think the non acceptance of the facebook request was your answer.

- - - Updated - - -

Also wanted to say the ball is in his court now, only thing you can do is no contact and see what happens.

[TheEvilJester]

Thank you.

We did talk briefly through text message about what happened, saying that things escalated, we said things we didn't mean, and said sorry to each other. But it was all very surface level conversation, none of us went deeper into details of what happened, and I felt that was because neither of us want to get back together, so what's the point?

I do not want to date him again. Of course I thought about it, but as you said, other issues would come up and I feel that what happened and how he dealt with things is just the way he is, and it wasn't a misunderstanding or anything like that. And of course the way he is would come up again in the future.

Also, I don't want to be with someone scared of what's going to go wrong again and having to break up again. I also don't want to be with a man that I want him to change to be the type of man I want. Better be on my own and free to meet my right match.

Yes! Good for you. Heck, I'll even do you one better. You'd even be better off alone than you would with somebody you know isn't right for you. Unfortunately, I know that myself from experience.

It sounds like your head is in a pretty good place now. I definitely understand it can be nice to get the official closure. Usually, though, the time to do that is when you break up. So, maybe you never fully got the closure you wanted initially, but I think it sounds like now everything else that has transpired has at least given you the closure you needed. At least I hope you feel that way. You'll get another chance soon enough, and I hope that time it is with somebody worth your time.

For now, just take some time focusing on remembering that you are pretty darn awesome yourself. That if he didn't appreciate that enough then somebody else will. Of course, it isn't like I am saying you decide you are God's gift to the world. LOL! I'm not suggesting you become cocky.... just that you give yourself some very deserved credit. Good luck to you.