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Thread: Could you provide me with some insight?

  1. #1
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    Could you provide me with some insight?

    I was wondering if you could provide me with some insight on the following. He was very interested from the very beginning; however, I was a little bit hesitant at the beginning due to our different communication styles. We had a hard time understanding each other. He is a black and white kind of personality, very straightforward in what he thinks and also very traditional, which was not something that I am accustomed to or something that I am looking for, so I wasn't certain how truly compatible we would be if we ever got into a relationship. At the same time, during our getting to know each, he mentioned that I am picky with men and how I should open my horizons and be more open to different kinds of men and not just the men that I am interested in. I don't know why he said that as I do not think like that and I never mentioned that in our conversations. More ever, whenever we would talk about that, I would try to explain to him that that is not the way it is, but he would not listen and he continued to mention that. Now, he says that he doesn't want to pursue anything because we come from opposing cultures (our cultures are not that different, but yes they are different) and how I should be with a guy from my culture and how he wants to raise his kids (we both want marriage and family) in his own culture and customs and not that he imposes those on somebody who has her own customs. What do you think about all of this? If you would like more information, please let me know if that would help you provide a better answer. I didn't want to write for too long.

  2. #2
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    What do you want?

  3. #3
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    I think that cultural differences are hard to over come. If you both don't want to put in the effort this won't work.

    On some level it is a communications / style issue. He wanted to jump right in while you were weighing options. Now that you are ready he has moved on because he's impulsive, perhaps too impulsive for you long term

    If you want him, go chase him. If you don't want him, let it fade.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DalM0m View Post
    I think that cultural differences are hard to over come. If you both don't want to put in the effort this won't work.

    On some level it is a communications / style issue. He wanted to jump right in while you were weighing options. Now that you are ready he has moved on because he's impulsive, perhaps too impulsive for you long term

    If you want him, go chase him. If you don't want him, let it fade.
    I wasn't weighing options so much as I was just being cautious given that our communication styles differ and we had a hard time understanding each other. I did try to meet him half way and compromise (I don't mind his personality), but I felt like he did not do the same for me, not as much as I did for him it seems to me. Or maybe it was just a misunderstanding between us.
    We know each other for several months and only now he mentions our opposing cultures as a reason for us not being able to proceed forward (our cultures are actually not that different, but there are some things within each of our cultures that are different). We did talk about our cultures before, but he never mentioned this. He even said that he likes my culture of origin. So I am left confused. I don't know how he could have changed his mind, especially after some time passed and I don't know if he knew this for some time, but didn't tell me, so then he wasn't completely honest with me.

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