Am I wasting my time?

[veryempty]

Been dating a guy for over a year. During that time, I have taken him to multiple family functions out of town (and paid for the hotels and gifts to go along with it). He has met my inner circle of friends and my family on numerous occasions.

While he was generous and thoughtful during the first year, he has not been the same for the last 5 months. We talked about living together several months ago and he seemed in favor of it. Accordingly, I have taken steps to ready my home for sale and can list it in about a month. I've also started to look for places in between our homes (he lives 75 miles away).

I only see him later on Saturday (he works Monday thru Fri and Sat AM, as a doctor) to Sunday after dinner.

He promised me during our first year, we'd go away on weekends, go on day trips, etc. The only trips we have taken have been those I've brought him on, including a cruise in Alaska (and he admitted no one has ever taken him on a vacation). He would buy me little gifts and send flowers on occasion but he hasn't bothered with anything since the holidays (and bought me a discontinued piece of costume jerwelry).

He earns a good living but I feel like I'm the one always taking care of things. I have hinted that I'd like to go away on my birthday this year, since it is on a weekend and he said he is bad at planning trips so I should do the research; but if he is presumably paying for it, how am I to choose?

He used to tell me he loved me but he doesn't anymore. But he does hold my hand and shows me some affection.

Needless to say, I'm always the one paying not only for the trips but also all of the gifts for the various events for my family but he knows I put his name on the gift, which I'm ok with, but he has NEVER invited me to any of his family functions and I have NEVER met any of his friends. I've met his kids a few times and his sister and elderly mother only once but he sees them all of the time.

He has been divorced for many years and his ex has been remarried for several years.

I do have 2 adult kids like him but my son has Asperger's so he can be a bit of a handful and my bf knows it. My son is sweet but he needs some attention from me and I'm thinking that it turning him off?

His daughter just moved out from his home, so now he has the house to himself. But he has said absolutely nothing about living together from the time I brought it up many months ago.

He is overall a great guy and I hate to lose him and be alone (I'm already 60). Thoughts?

[DalM0m]

Do not sell your home. Never co-mingle your finances with his. He's not a generous guy. Whether you want to deal with that for the rest of your life is up to you, but it is a fact that will be difficult to change. I will share with you that my husband has become more generous over the years. He used to be a lousy tipper. I'd sneak more money into the bill when he wasn't looking. After seeing my example & the example of my family he has become more generous but that was a long process that caused more then one disagreement.

[Hooo!]

So you are 60 and haven’t learned to discuss this with your partner directly?