Will he change for me because he loves me more?

[Summerr]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, seven months. He has done a lot. I got a ring, card with pictures in it and we’re in Memphis right now living with his real mother for the time being until we decide to go back to Chicago where my mother is and where his step mom and real father is.

At one point, he was staying with me at my moms house, she even got us a dog of our own.

His ex was hurt when she found out he was messing with me from a national boyfriend post I put on Facebook. She messaged me asking for the truth about what had went on between us behind closed doors because he wasn’t being honest with her and he was telling her that I was just a friend, to spare her feelings obviously.

I told her the truth, when he found out she messaged me, he told her to never call or text him again to stop texting “his girl(me). After that, we were official. On Halloween, we even. Dressed up as if we were apart of the purge and my mom took pictures had uploaded them on Facebook.

My mom considers him her son in law, even on Mother’s Day she included a picture of him as her child along with me and my two siblings saying how she’s grateful to have us as her kids and was happy for him to be her future son in law.

Things have been getting more serious with me in seven months than it ever did with her in a year and some months they were together. It may be hard for her to see, but she just wasn’t the girl for him.

He never did any of those things for her. The only reason he has hit her up a few times, though he hasn’t done it in like two weeks, was for sex.

She never gave in though, one time she told him that she knows me and him are still together and to go and be faithful to me. He never really admitted to her that we are still together after she said that he just quit messaging her.

He never said he missed her or anything. He missed her sexually. It’s not like he actually wants her back. If she was the one he truly wanted to be with he wouldn’t have cheated right?

Isn’t it impossible for me to be a rebound when he’s giving me treatment in seven months that she probably never got in the year they were together?

[GLYC]

"He never did any of those things for her. The only reason he has hit her up a few times, though he hasn’t done it in like two weeks, was for sex."

This is the biggest red flag ever, you're ignoring obvious warning signs so that you don't feel hurt.

Don't waste your time. Leave this man.

[Hooo!]

Let us say: I am a married man. My wife only cheats on me for the sex. But she hasn’t done so in two weeks.
Maybe she will stop cheating on me for love?

What would your tell me in this situation?

[GLYC]

Let us say: I am a married man. My wife only cheats on me for the sex. But she hasn’t done so in two weeks.
Maybe she will stop cheating on me for love?

What would your tell me in this situation?

This really is key with some situations, having the ability to identify as if you were an outside source.

Think if you were giving your friend advice that was in your position.

In this situation, all I have to say is,
Know your own value.

[Minikimini]

You're a rebound. Sorry. It has nothing to do with what treatment he's giving you.

The only reason he has hit her up a few times, though he hasn’t done it in like two weeks, was for sex.

That's nothing to gloat about. The way this reads, up until 14 days ago (out of your 7 months), he's cheating on her with you and on you with her; he's been stringing both of you along and you're convinced that because of a couple of trinkets and you mom's interference, he's more serious about you than her. If he was done with her, none of this would be going on.

Tell you what: get both of them in the same room and put your questions to the both of them and watch who lies the most. Right now, your boyfriend is sus a. f.

A word of advice: don't let your mother manipulate you into something when you're not paying attention to the signs he's giving you that he's not the one for you. Quit calling him her "son in law". He isn't until the state weighs in with a license.

[TheEvilJester]

Believe me, I really wish I could have a more positive outlook... but I could not agree more with the others. You two have been together for 7 months.... and he's only stopped "hitting her up for sex" two weeks ago? What exactly makes you think he'll suddenly stop when he hasn't so far? Even if he DID... how long until he's just trying to get other women in bed.... all while telling you that you are the only one for him. Or making excuses like "Oh, I just use those other women for sex, but I love you."

And... honestly, MAYBE I am being too cynical. Break-ups can be complicated and difficult. They can take a while to process. So, sure, there is some small chance that maybe he never meant for this to happen. That he entered into a relationship with you fully intending to be faithful... but didn't realize he hadn't dealt with his leftover feelings for his ex. Problem with that, though.... that is basically the definition of a rebound. So, basically it boils down to the two most likely explanations either being he is intentionally using you, or he is unintentionally using you. Even if it IS unintentional... doesn't change the fact he is using you.

Again, I COULD be wrong. My personal advice is that you deserve better and that you are unlikely to find that in him. But, you do have to do what feels right for you. So, if you want to still give him the chance to prove worthy of you, I at least ask you to have some reasonable boundaries and a reasonable breaking point and/or amount of time by which you will realize you need to move on if things do not improve. Again, my personal advice would be to let him go. That it sounds like he isn't right for you. But, you do have to do whatever you think is best. So, best of luck to you either way.