Bf asked hypothetically

[Sblancy]

He asked me if hypothetically we are not going to proceed/ continue the relationship am i still going to talk to him and i said no and he doesnt want that.
What should i do? Its the second time he asked me that.
Is it a sign that he is just looking for a right timing to break up with me?

[smackie09]

I say ya. He's talking about it so it would make sense that he is. You just need to firmly ask him to be straight with you, and discuss it....no more of this "hypothetically" crap. Tell him to man up and speak his mind.

[Sblancy]

Thanks.i asked him he said he still love me but with this question from him i knew already.

[smackie09]

He's not giving you the truth, he's diverting with "I love you" to pacify your suspicions.

[Sblancy]

should i be the one to end the relationship even its not me who has a problem?

[lovebroken]

Yes, he is testing the waters with you and maybe thinking of breaking up or thinks you might break up with him first. My thoughts, do not be friends after, it isn't really him wanting to still be friends, it is what people tell people to make them look like good guys and that they cared about you. I learned the hard way once.

[Sblancy]

Thanks.
Yea thats the thing. He said he wanted to keep the communication even we are not going to continue the relationship that he would be there for me. I find it selfish coz he wanted to keep in touch even he is aware that he is the one who Has a problem. He never explained where it all started. His thoughts.
He knew im hurting and also aware that i dont deserve it.

[lovebroken]

Yes, it is good you are aware of his game or trap he is trying to lay( play) and you can turn it on him and take the power back. Do what is best for you.

[Sblancy]

Thanks. Just gotta be ready..💪🏼 Not easy but i will..

[Hooo!]

Why can’t the two of you stop the secretive BS and get down and talk about what the actual problems are

You are asking for advise on a problem that isn’t yours and you don’t know it and that makes you ready to split up
And this is exactly as weird as it sounds

[Sblancy]

Im trying to reach out but he keeps on saying that he is so busy with his work. We don't talk so often. Not even a good conversation or a videocall in a week.. so i really dont know what to do. I want to be understanding as i can..

[TheEvilJester]

It isn't necessarily a 100% sure, foregone conclusion that he's asking you that because he actually is intending to end the relationship....

But, yeah... I agree with the others. That PROBABLY is the case. Why else would somebody ask something like that? Especially twice? So, I agree with the others as well that you should talk to him about it. Don't let him play his stupid games. If he wants to end the relationship he needs to man up and tell you that. If he doesn't and he truly was just asking as a purely hypothetical question.... then he needs to grow a brain! Who in their right mind would ask their significant other a question like that if it DIDN'T have hidden subtext? Who in their right mind would not realize how that would OBVIOUSLY make the other person think they wanted to break up?

I know you have said you've tried to talk to him and he gives excuses like he's too busy or whatever. Hopefully if you stick to it he will eventually talk to you and be honest with you. If not, then that is a pretty obvious sign anyway that things aren't okay. How can you be in a relationship if he won't even talk to you? So, hopefully it doesn't have to come to that... but if he won't even talk about it then maybe you'd be better off just breaking up with him yourself.

But, that is just what I think. You do have to do what feels right for you. Hopefully he will grow the heck up and talk to you. Maybe things ARE fine and he as just a bone-head. Maybe things aren't fine but you two can work on it and get through it. Or maybe things aren't fine and you two are different enough that you'd be better just going your separate ways. But if he won't even communicate with you how are you supposed to know which is the case? Good luck to you.

[Sblancy]

thanks for this... much appreciated.
Its a bit confusing at this time but I am giving him a bit of time to think and talk to me when he is ready and or probably the time is enough already and he is talking to me yet i will have to make a decision that will be good for me and him...

[Hooo!]

I wouldn’t want to be with a partner who cannot and will not even talk to me if I ask for it

But that’s just me personally

[pcmaster]

Relationship with you is just not his priority. He is not interested in giving it more attention than other things.